She’s getting stressed, losing her strength. ‘I think he was curious, about me, wanted to see my face after all these years. And he wanted someone to talk to about Kenya. I think he’s getting nervous about going by himself. But—’ Lewis takes a breath on the other end of the line and the silence which falls after is heavy. ‘You didn’t know,’ she says, ‘did you?’

‘Please tell me he’s not thinking of going back there?’

‘He’s talking about it. He sounds serious. He’s got a plan. He wants to see his grandparents and Purity—’

‘His grandparents? You know how hard I’ve tried to protect him from those two over the years?’

‘I can imagine, but maybe they’ll be different now. Maybe now he’s older they can build a relationship. It’ll be good for him.’

‘You don’t know what’s good for him. They have no interest in Kiama whatsoever. He can’t go there. I won’t let him.’

‘Whatever happened to not wrapping him in cotton wool?’

That was how Kiama’s nana put it the last time Yvonne spoke to her. She had said that even though she was terrified each time Kiama left her sight, she knew she had to let go so he wouldn’t be scared of the world, she wanted him to have as much freedom as any other child.

‘I’ve never told him what he can and can’t do,’ Lewis says. ‘But that’s part of the problem with Kiama. He wants to drop out of college after three months? I let him. He wants to piss about in Barcelona all summer? I let him. He wants to do some nonsense courier job? I let him. For the last ten years I’ve let him do whatever the hell he wants. But I won’t let him do this. And why is he talking to you? I’m his dad. I’m the one who has been there for him.’

‘Because I was there, Lewis, in Kenya.’

They both fall silent.

‘Please,’ he says.

She presses the phone against her ear with a shoulder, filling her head with the sound of his voice. ‘Yvie, I’m begging you.’

Why does she still shiver when he says her name? Why does he still have such power over her?

‘Talk him out of this.’

‘Lewis, you shouldn’t have called me.’

‘Let’s talk face to face. Let me take you out for a drink or something and we can—’

‘No. I don’t want to see you.’

But she’s curious. What does he look like now? How would it feel to see him again?

‘He’s my only child. You can’t imagine how hard it’s been. How much I worry about him.’