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Chapters (42)
  1. Cover
  2. Praise for Luan Goldie
  3. About the Author
  4. Also by Luan Goldie
  5. Note to Readers
  6. Dedication
  7. Chapter One
  8. Chapter Two
  9. Chapter Three
  10. Chapter Four
  11. Chapter Five
  12. Chapter Six
  13. Chapter Seven
  14. Chapter Eight
  15. Chapter Nine
  16. Chapter Ten
  17. Chapter Eleven
  18. Chapter Twelve
  19. Chapter Thirteen
  20. Chapter Fourteen
  21. Chapter Fifteen
  22. Chapter Sixteen
  23. Chapter Seventeen
  24. Chapter Eighteen
  25. Chapter Nineteen
  26. Chapter Twenty
  27. Chapter Twenty-One
  28. Chapter Twenty-Two
  29. Chapter Twenty-Three
  30. Chapter Twenty-Four
  31. Chapter Twenty-Five
  32. Chapter Twenty-Six
  33. Chapter Twenty-Seven
  34. Chapter Twenty-Eight
  35. Chapter Twenty-Nine
  36. Acknowledgements
  37. Extract
  38. Saturday, 4 May 1996
  39. Chapter One
  40. Chapter Two
  41. Chapter Three
  42. About the Publisher

As she comes back to the table Emma is going through Yvonne’s handbag and picking out her phone. Yvonne’s heart races, ‘What are you doing?’ she panics.

‘Your ringtone is so loud.’

Yvonne grabs it and checks the missed call, an unknown number.

‘It rang for ages. Who’s so desperate to get hold of you at this time on a Friday night?’

‘No one. It’s no one.’

‘Liar. It’s half ten. That was a booty call,’ Emma teases. ‘Are you getting back together with Jaden? Has he been sitting on your desk again?’

‘No. That was ages ago. I told you that was nothing.’ Yvonne switches off her screen and puts it in her bag, covering it with a scarf, as if it makes a difference. ‘What did you order? Sex on the Beach? I hate peach.’

‘I didn’t know it was made with peach.’

‘But you do know what I like. I’m surprised they even sell these here, so tacky.’

‘For fuck’s sake, Yvonne, I’m sorry I didn’t order a sophisticated enough drink for you.’

‘Oh, give it a rest.’

Emma straightens in her seat and takes a sip of the drink before recoiling. ‘Urgh, this is sweet.’

They both laugh and Emma pushes the drink away. ‘Sorry, babe,’ she says.

‘No, don’t be. It’s just a drink.’

‘I don’t know why you still put up with me,’ Emma says. ‘I bore myself sometimes.’

They look over at the next table where a group of men laugh overenthusiastically at each other.

‘So,’ Emma says in a way that signals she’s about to say something serious. Yvonne prays that somehow Emma knows all and is about to confront her, to save her from having to say the words herself. ‘I’ve been thinking about Kenya.’

‘Kenya?’ It throws her completely. ‘What about it?’

‘About going back. About making a different life for myself. Showing Kiama something real.’

‘You’re talking about poverty. What is this thing with people wanting to expose their children to extreme poverty?’

Emma pulls the orange slice from the drink and bites it, leaving the rind. ‘I want to show him a different kind of life.’

‘You took him before. You said he complained the whole time about it being too hot.’

‘He was only four then.’ Emma closes her eyes. ‘I wish I could go back.’

‘Everyone wants to go back to being a kid again.’

‘We’ve got nothing here.’

‘That’s not true. Kiama has everything here. His family. His school. His friends.’

‘I need to change my life.’ She wraps the necklace around her fingers again and this time Yvonne doesn’t mention it. ‘Would I be able to sublet my flat?’

‘No.’

‘Why not?’

‘Because you can’t sublet a council property.’

‘Everyone does it.’

‘No, they don’t. Because subletting is illegal. And immoral.’