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Chapters (42)
  1. Cover
  2. Praise for Luan Goldie
  3. About the Author
  4. Also by Luan Goldie
  5. Note to Readers
  6. Dedication
  7. Chapter One
  8. Chapter Two
  9. Chapter Three
  10. Chapter Four
  11. Chapter Five
  12. Chapter Six
  13. Chapter Seven
  14. Chapter Eight
  15. Chapter Nine
  16. Chapter Ten
  17. Chapter Eleven
  18. Chapter Twelve
  19. Chapter Thirteen
  20. Chapter Fourteen
  21. Chapter Fifteen
  22. Chapter Sixteen
  23. Chapter Seventeen
  24. Chapter Eighteen
  25. Chapter Nineteen
  26. Chapter Twenty
  27. Chapter Twenty-One
  28. Chapter Twenty-Two
  29. Chapter Twenty-Three
  30. Chapter Twenty-Four
  31. Chapter Twenty-Five
  32. Chapter Twenty-Six
  33. Chapter Twenty-Seven
  34. Chapter Twenty-Eight
  35. Chapter Twenty-Nine
  36. Acknowledgements
  37. Extract
  38. Saturday, 4 May 1996
  39. Chapter One
  40. Chapter Two
  41. Chapter Three
  42. About the Publisher

‘You don’t know my family. They’re powered by gossip.’

‘Mine’s exactly the same. But Danny’s known about you for a long time and he respects that it’s off limits, for now anyway. I’m sure your brother will get it too. Tell him we’ve only just started seeing each other. That you don’t want the whole family knowing.’

‘I really didn’t want this to happen yet.’

He pours another round of batter into the pan and tuts when it doesn’t quite reach the edges.

Why is he being so nonchalant about this? But then, she can’t always tell what Lewis is thinking and feeling, he holds everything in so well.

‘Lewis? Say something. What should I do?’

He smiles slowly and says, ‘Go and ask your brother what he wants on his pancake?’

‘This isn’t funny.’

‘It would have been funnier an hour ago. At least now you’ve got your clothes on. Look, we both knew this would happen sooner or later. I don’t get what’s so bad about your family knowing you’re seeing someone?’

‘Because I’m the last single one. My mum’s desperate for me to get married and have some kids.’

Lewis flips the pancake over. ‘Marriage?’ he says trying to keep his face neutral. ‘I wasn’t quite expecting that, but I guess we have known each other for almost ten years.’

She covers her face.

‘People are going to find out one day, Yvie.’

She gets this, but didn’t want anyone in her family to be amongst the first to know. At least not before Emma.

Yvonne goes into the bathroom where Claude sits on the floor pulling nails from the old bath panel. ‘I knew there was something going on with you.’

She clears her throat. ‘He’s just a friend.’

Claude nods, ‘Of course he is.’

‘Okay, more than a friend.’ She puts down the lid and sits on the toilet seat.

‘How long you been seeing this one?’

‘This one? You make it sound like I have loads of men on the go.’

‘You only broke up with Jaden a few weeks ago.’

‘It was the end of March.’

‘And when did this guy appear?’

‘The end of March.’

Claude laughs.

‘I like him,’ she says.

‘I can tell. I can see it in how you’re behaving.’

Yvonne closes the bathroom door. ‘The thing is we’ve got history.’ Perhaps this is what the relationship needs now, to be admitted out loud and shared with another person. Perhaps then she will realise that there’s no need to be so secretive about things, so worried that they’re doing something wrong. ‘You know my friend Emma and her little boy, Kiama? I’ve brought him up to Mum’s a few times.’

‘The kid with the big hair?’

‘Yes, well, Lewis is his dad.’

No, it definitely sounds wrong.