Second of all, she’s queer. Her mom is queer. When we somehow get onto the topic of haircuts, she laughs and says something about how she has the stereotypical “bisexual bob” like it’s nothing, like I must’ve met so many openly queer adults before, like it’s no big deal to live in Northwest Florida and have a job and a kid and just be bi.

It must be weird for Amber, being out at home but completely in the closet at school. Not that I’m super out at school either, but I don’t exactly pass for straight unless you’re determined to be clueless as hell; even my grandparents have finally stopped asking when I’ll meet a nice boy. Nothing about her gives off vibes until she wants to, though, and turning it on and off frankly sounds exhausting.

“You sure you don’t want any more?” Heidi asks, tipping the pint of mint chocolate chip ice cream we’ve all been sharing in my direction. It’s the green kind, for Gator Day, which was a little horrifying until Amber rolled her eyes and told me her mom has a different flavor for every day of Spirit Week and calls it her “favorite excuse of the year.”

“I’m good, but thank you.” Truth is, I don’t really like ice cream, but she was so excited to serve it to us and I loved the idea of being doted on by a girlfriend’s mom so much that I swallowed it down anyway. I feel like I’ve just drunk icy mouthwash. Amber shakes her head, though it’s obvious she wants more. From several references at Gutter Kittens and tonight, I’m guessing homecoming and the accompanying dress have something to do with cutting herself off.

We haven’t actually talked about the dance, but there isn’t really anything to say—she and Miguel mentioned going together the other night at bowling, Malcolm pretended (?) to be sad about missing out, and I didn’t say a word, because it’s a dance and those are extremely not my thing. Technically, my presence would be required as quarterback, but oh right, no one gives a shit about me, so I get to stay home and watch ESPN Classic while everyone else squeezes into dresses and uncomfortable suits and ties.

I definitely don’t want to be doing that.