“It’s not a queer thing. Not really,” I amend, thinking of Cara. The others might not be marching in any Pride parades soon, but Cara was the only one to look at me any differently after news of me and Veronica spread around camp faster than the wave for any reason other than concern I was “cheating” on Miguel. “I mean, I don’t know how they would take it, and I don’t want any of that ‘Oh my God, is she checking me out in the locker room??’ crap, and I probably wouldn’t have a shot in hell at captain if everyone knew. But it’s a more immediate problem that people just … hate her. No matter how good she is and how much she wins for us, people can’t get past the idea that the memory of Robbie has been desecrated by a girl getting his spot.”

“Robbie being the treasure who found out Miguel’s gay and blackmailed him for months?”

“The very one.” God, it feels nice to be able to speak ill of the dead, and with someone who knows these darkest secrets. “But obviously no one knows that. And the coach won’t budge on this, so the only way everyone can deal with it is by taking their feelings out on her.”

“And where do you stand on this? Publicly, I mean.”

“I’ve tried to get them to back off,” I offer, but it sounds as weak as my efforts have been, and I can tell by her frown that she sees right through it. “You know how badly I need to be captain next year. I can’t risk having the whole team hating me or wondering why I keep going to bat for her. What’s it even gonna do?”

“You tell me,” she counters. “How would you feel if the situation were reversed and your girlfriend didn’t stick up for you?”

“She’s not my girlfriend” slips out before I can think better of it, and I know as soon as I hear the words come out of my mouth that I’m being a coward. We talked and made out for hours the other night, right up until her parents sent her a text that they were on their way back from dinner and I bolted out of her apartment like I was being chased by a coyote. I can’t even imagine Jack rolling over like I have. When I told her about my dad, she looked like she wanted to go to Fayettville herself to rip him to pieces. She’d fight for me if she had to—I know it—and here I am, backing down at the first sight of the wolves.