“Just wait until you see our coordinating outfits for the dance,” she says proudly, placing a hand on his chest, meticulous baby-pink nail polish gleaming in the school hallway’s fluorescent lights.

It’s a total nonanswer, but whatever; I’m not getting into it with her. All I know is that if I don’t get to go with my first-choice date, I’m certainly leaving with a tiara. “Good luck with that” is all I offer, and then I drag Melanie’s attention back to me by placing a big wet smack on Miguel’s cheek that I know he’s dying to wipe off.

But all too soon, Melanie’s gone, and everyone else falls away and it’s only me and my future king: pretenders to the throne. “Have you given it any more thought?” he murmurs.

I could act like I don’t know what he’s talking about, but it’d just be insulting. “Nothing’s changed, Migs.”

He sighs. “Yeah, I know. I just thought maybe…”

“Maybe what?”

His usually warm brown eyes have a weary look to them I haven’t seen in a long time. “Maybe you’d realize you want the same thing I do.”

Even though we’re keeping our conversation plenty vague, I still feel the need to drag him to a quiet corner. “Look, all else aside, sure, it’d be fun. But there are a lot of things I want and this isn’t even close to the biggest one.” A little lump forms in my throat as I say it, as if trying to argue with me, and I swallow a few times until it disappears. “And I know you think you want this, but you still have almost your entire senior year left. If this does turn into hell, do you really want months and months of that?”

I don’t know what response I expect from Miguel, but it isn’t a weak little shrug. He really means it when he says he’d throw the team away for Malcolm. He really thinks having a boyfriend would be enough to sustain him here if he no longer had football.

Part of me is jealous. Part of me thinks he’s deluded.

And okay, a tiny little part of me wonders if I’m the one who’s deluded, if I’m gonna keep up this charade for the entire rest of high school while the girl I want to be with is right freaking there, walking the halls friendless, no one knowing how cute she looks in glasses or that she can do the toughest rap in Hamilton or that she tells people her favorite movie is The Boondock Saints but it’s actually Love, Simon.

But then I think of my future, of everything I want, and here’s the thing: I really like Jack.

But I love me.

-JACK-