‘I don’t know what you’re talking about,’ I said. ‘I mean, sure, it was a weird day and Ingrid isn’t exactly cosy. But the car journey was fine. It was just a bit dull.’

‘You must have felt it,’ she said. ‘It was so strong.’ And then she started crying again. I held her close and she said, ‘Someone’s going to die.’

Her face was against my chest and her voice was muffled, and I wasn’t sure I’d heard her right. I said, ‘It’s all going to be fine, Ellie. You must be coming down with something. I’m going to get Mum.’

But she shook her head. ‘No. It won’t make any difference. Let her rest.’

She pulled away from me and I thought I’d offended her, but then she gazed up at me and her peaky little face – all hollows and shadows in the light of the bedside lamp – was so full of affection, and so sincere, that I was completely unnerved.

She looked exactly the way she might have done if she thought I was the one who was about to kick the bucket. Or as if she wanted me to remember what she was about to tell me, whatever happened.

‘I do love you, Ava, you know,’ she said. And then she just couldn’t resist adding, ‘Even if you are a bit mean sometimes.’

‘And I love you too,’ I told her.

It felt really strange to say it. I wasn’t sure when I ever had. But it struck me as true, too.

She said, ‘You think you’re a horrible person, and you don’t trust anyone who actually likes you. But you’re not that bad. You’re really not bad at all.’

With that she turned away from me and snuggled down under her bedcovers and closed her eyes. I turned the light out and got back into my bed, and soon afterwards I heard the soft, gentle breathing that meant she was asleep.

That sound had been part of my life for so long, it was hard to believe that the time was not all that far off when I would leave home, and night after night would go by without me hearing it. I would have thought that was something to look forward to. But now it came to it, I could see how much I’d miss her.

Nineteen

Paula

It was probably just as well that Mark was out at work when the special needs teacher from the local authority called round for a home visit. Given the way things had been going since the Christmas show, I wasn’t at all sure he could have been trusted to be polite to her.

I’d tried to talk to him… I’d tried to be civil. The rage I’d felt after the show was still there, but I prided myself on keeping it under wraps. It hadn’t made any difference. Mark had gone into lockdown, and was refusing to discuss Daisy at all until the professionals had told us exactly what was wrong.