He was scared. I knew that. But he trusted me enough to do it anyway.

‘I love you too,’ I said.

A huge wave of relief washed over me. Relief and triumph. In the end I’d barely needed to persuade him. There’d certainly been no need to even think about the kind of trickery some women seemed to resort to, quietly stopping using contraception and then presenting their men with a fait accompli.

It was as if, through nothing more than force of will – through wanting her so badly –I’d rewritten our story already, and conjured that ghostly little girl at the table into the reality of our lives.

Five

Ellie

Mum’s phone rang while she was washing up after dinner and she rushed to check who it was. That in itself was a dead giveaway: she really, really wanted it to be Mark.

She got calls and messages all the time from people wanting haircuts, and she’d got her phone set up so that calls from my school or Ava’s had a special ringtone, in case there was an emergency. But Ava and I were both safely home, and there was nobody else she’d hurry for. Especially not Dad.

Still, at least she hadn’t got to the stage of giving Mark his own special ringtone, too.

She took the phone into her bedroom and shut the door.

I tiptoed into the hallway so that I could listen. Ava was in the room we shared, as usual, doing whatever it was she did in there – homework, or so she claimed. I didn’t think it very likely that she’d come out and find me eavesdropping, but it was possible. Anyway, I decided to take the risk.

Mum said, ‘That’s what I told them.’

Them? She must mean me and Ava. But told us what?

‘Exactly. All in good time,’ Mum said. ‘I know.’

Then she dropped her voice so it was hard to make out the words. ‘Maybe, but I don’t think so, to be honest. She’s always been like that. It’s just the way she is.’

Was it Ava they were talking about? Or me?

Then Mum said, ‘No, she does have friends at school, but she’s never had a boyfriend. She’s pretty wary, to be honest. She tends to keep people at a bit of a distance. Even me and Ellie, sometimes. You really mustn’t take it personally. I did try talking to her about it, and she pretty much brushed me off. I think you’re right, actually. We need to give her time.’

Of course they weren’t talking about me. I was just the little one, the one it was easy to forget, and Mark wasn’t interested in me and Dad didn’t care either.

Tears came to my eyes, and I began to sniff. Maybe I should run away. But they probably wouldn’t even notice.

‘Ellie.’ It was Ava. She’d come out and caught me red-handed. ‘What are you doing?’

‘I was just going to ask Mum something,’ I said, blinking very fast to make the tears go away.