‘Is it an old Victorian house?’ Ellie asked.

We all stared at her. Mark said, ‘What makes you say that?’

‘I just wondered if it was one of those kinds of houses,’ Ellie clarified. ‘You know, the red-brick sort with pointy roofs and a big walled garden all around it.’

I said, ‘What are you expecting, Wuthering Heights or something?’

Ellie pulled a face. ‘I just wondered.’

‘Well, I’m sorry to disappoint, but it isn’t,’ Mark said. ‘It’s a new-build with no history whatsoever.’

‘Mark was very generous to his ex-wife when they divorced,’ Mum said. ‘He let her have the house they’d lived in.’

‘Yes, well, we really don’t need to go into that,’ Mark said stiffly.

The waiter arrived to clear the table, and Mum asked if I wanted to do anything after dinner and I said I just wanted to pack and have an early night. ‘I’ll help Ellie pack, too.’

‘I don’t need help,’ Ellie protested.

‘You look like you should get an early night, too, Mum,’ I said, ignoring Ellie. ‘You look done in.’

She yawned and stretched. ‘I am,’ she said. ‘Believe me, I am. I really had no idea it was going to be so hard third time round.’

Her face had already filled out a little, though I was only aware of that because I knew her so well. It wasn’t at all obvious that she was pregnant, not yet anyway. Her new clothes were mainly loose and flowing, chosen to hide her shape rather than draw attention to it, and although she’d brought a swimming costume she hadn’t actually gone any closer to the water than a quick paddle in the shallows: the selection of kaftans she’d brought with her had come in useful.

As we made our way out of the restaurant and up to our rooms I actually felt guilty, as if I was the one who was at fault. What they really needed was a daughter who was capable of being a bit more bohemian, who could shrug and say, So what? So things got a bit confused. Big deal. But they’d ended up with me, and I wasn’t ready to let either of them off the hook just yet.

My sense of moral superiority did not last much longer. It didn’t feel like a decision to do something bad, though. It felt like a fait accompli.

I went to bed at the same time as Ellie – later than usual for her, early for me. Then I couldn’t sleep. I was plagued by a general sense of dread about everything. There were the exams, the visit to Mark’s three-bedroom new-build house, the schools I might go to. The wedding, with nobody we knew there to wish us well. Mark’s mother, who was going to be supervising us even though I was perfectly capable of looking after Ellie myself, and often had.

And then I’d be starting over. No more Molly, no more Jasmine, no more Brian looking fit from a distance. No more Toby.