The persistent ringing of my cell phone pulls me back from the darkness of my thoughts. It’s Drake, I hit ignore. I can’t talk to him right now. I can’t talk to anyone, the one person I want to talk to I can’t because I have no fucking idea if I can contain my anger while I talk to her. Shock hits me to see it’s almost four o’clock. For over an hour I have sat here like a fucking zombie.
Anger gets me moving and all the way to Alexa’s condo. I pound on the door and hear her gasp from the other side. “Open the door, Alexa.” I can feel her thinking on the other side. “Now.”
She opens the door. She’s still in what she wore to work, a thin plain blue cotton blouse and black slacks, only now her hair is down. She is holding onto the door as if it’s the only thing holding her up. A meow comes from a large ball of black and gray fur sitting beside her. He doesn’t appear any happier to see me than Alexa. I ignore them both, needing to see the proof for myself.
It’s not a huge condo. The living room and dining room are one large room with bamboo floors, and a smaller galley kitchen looks recently updated. The walls are a pale blue with art on the walls, none of it what I thought it would be. There is one long leather couch and a single large overstuffed chair. Behind the flat screen television is a wall of bookcases filled to the bursting with books. Nothing indicates a man lives here.
I open the one closed door I know leads to the bedroom. The walls are lavender, there is a queen size bed against a wall. Everything is feminine without a single male thing in the room.
In the center of the room, I turn to make sure I have not missed anything. I spot it against the wall, it’s a large collage style frame with the words of In Memoriam at the top. There is a funeral pamphlet, one of the photos is the picture of the supposed Felix.
Alexa is standing in the doorway, her blue eyes huge. Her hand is pressed against her stomach, I see it now for what it is, a move to still her nerves. “There is no Felix.”
Her nod is small, “I’m not married. Felix, he’s Felix.” She points at the cat who keeps sending his head into my shin.