It has only been a month since he moved in but I really thought by now the newness of it all would have made it at least a little less amazing, that the shine would wear off a bit. Only it hasn’t, every day feels better, every touch feels sweeter, every smile he flashes still makes my breath catch and my heart flutter.

There is a cloud in the sky, as much as I wish there wasn’t. The time Leo was due at Ria and Drake’s house for their monthly chat on the market and business Leo declined when Ria told him to bring me. He didn’t go and leave me at home he just didn’t go altogether.

I found out about it from Ria when she told me at the lunch, Elise, Ria, and I were having together. I tried to play it cool at first, but I was in tears before it was over. Both women were insistent to give it time. They were right, already Leo was doing things I never thought he would. Ria admitted it might have had something to do with her also wanting to invite Elise and Dmitri and their kids too.

Elise kicked Ria under the table. Of course, something like that would make Leo flinch. As Ria rubbed her leg she sheepishly admitted it was a bad idea. If it would have just been Ria and Drake like normal he would have probably said yes. Only I wasn’t so sure.

As amazing as the last month has been I know I’m not completely forgiven. I know he wants to, I know there are even moments when he thinks he has let it go. But then there nights when I wake up to find him on the balcony sipping scotch with Maxi on his lap and he’s far away from me. Or when he comes back from lunch with Victoria and he’s not quite as happy as he was when he left.

It plays over and over in my head, how to do it. To just tell him, to go down on my knees and tell him that I’m sorry I hurt him but I’m not sorry I lied. That if I had it to do over I wouldn’t change a thing. Because I fell in love him the moment I saw him and telling the truth meant never seeing him again. Only I’m too much of a coward, for the same reason. How could someone like him really love me? How could I know that if I told him I loved him he was ready to say it back, to believe me, to trust me again?

***

Leo

––––––––

It’s finally time to go look at the house. I ask Alexa if she would like to come and give me her opinion.

“You bought a house?”