I thought the lesson where we role-played the interview had been intense, but this was so much harder. That was all talk. This required action.

I looked down at her jean-clad ass, feeling like an idiot. She was lying on my lap, practically begging for it, and I still felt like I wanted her to give me clearer consent. Maybe I was too wholesome…except if I was that wholesome I wouldn’t be struggling to focus just from the feel of having her body pressed against me.

I took the plunge and swatted her butt a few times. I didn’t actually know the right way to spank a person. Would’ve thought it was obvious, but surely there was a proper technique, and I had no idea what it was.

I brought my hand down on her ass in a weirdly stiff patting motion, continuing with the dialogue, but everything about it felt forced and wrong.

I could hear the laughter in her voice when she took pity on me and stopped the scene.

She got up from my lap effortlessly. “Here’s what I see. Instead of embodying natural dominance, you’re creating an image of what you think a dominant should be…angry, stiff, controlling. We need to get that image out of your head.”

It was a relief to have her explain what was going wrong. I wondered why I automatically defaulted to that model of dominance? Years of hard-ass coaches celebrating toxic masculinity maybe? I’d had some great coaches, but had definitely spent some formative years under guys who thought they needed to yell to show they were in charge.

She continued, “This guy is totally at ease. He’s secure in his power and doesn’t have anything to prove. He doesn’t move with military stiffness—more like a predator. He’s lethal and he knows it and expects his every whim to be obeyed. When you expect people to obey, there doesn’t have to be as much effort in your commands. And don’t forget, this is still sexual between them, so there should be some subtext there—maybe a little naughtiness or a hint of flirtation. Make sense?”

“Absolutely. What did I do wrong with getting you over my knee?”

“When he says ‘over my knee,’ he more means over my lap. It’s a spanking position. I’ll show you the best way to do it in a second. And with the actual spanking, you’re too stiff there too. May I show you?”

It was an innocent enough question and was exactly what we’d hired her for. Having to run through the scene with her had shown me just how unsure I still was. I’d felt stupid even though that hadn’t been her intention.

I needed the hands-on training, but I hadn’t expected it to be this hard. Literally. I was like a goddamned teenager popping boners around her, so I was distracted.

I’d never struggled with this on set before. Surely, I could lock it down.

I cleared my throat, trying to sound relaxed. “Yes, ma’am. What do you need me to do?”