He misunderstood the gesture and said, “I don’t care if that’s a lie, I want to believe it…”

When he started to lean forward again, I turned my head and his lips landed just below my ear.

“Elena,” he groaned. “I’m sorry I killed the moment. Forget I said anything.”

I pulled away from him and went to retrieve my stuff.

“I’m sorry,” he said quickly. “That was out of line. I of all people should know better. This is work for you. I won’t make the same mistake again.”

I smiled carefully. “It’s not a big deal. We’re supposed to be in a relationship. PDA is in our contract. Let’s just make sure there’s a camera nearby next time. No point in pretending we can’t keep our hands off each other if there’s no one there to see it, but I think we proved we can make it look real when we need to.”

It wasn’t an act. I’d been completely out of control and that was unacceptable. I threw everything back in my bag, getting ready to leave.

“You’re a better actress than I originally gave you credit for.” He looked at me accusingly, “Have you considered a career change with your impending fame?”

“No. I love my job.”

It wasn’t until the driver had pulled away and I was sitting in the back of the sleek town car that I realized I felt like a prostitute again. When I’d arrived, it had been empowering, but now I felt cheap for the very first time in my career. I had personal rules beyond the rules of the dungeon for a reason.

I wouldn’t forget that again.

8

Alex

What the hell was I thinking last night?

I was so frustrated with myself I wanted to throw something, but since I was holding a seventy-pound kettlebell, that wasn’t a great idea. I liked my weight room without holes in the walls.

I’d crossed a line and I hated the way I’d made her shut down, but holy hell had she blown my mind. I’d been drunk on the power she’d given me, caught up in the feeling of having this tough-as-nails woman surrendering control. What did that say about me?

She asked why I wanted this part so badly. I thought it was purely for career reasons, but could she be right? Playing Lucas Steel gave me an excuse to be the version of myself I was too hesitant to experiment with in real life. If I was like him and worried less about pleasing people, would that mean I was becoming the famous jackass I was scared of turning into? Or was I a jackass for shutting down any parts of myself that didn’t fit the image we’d created?

I thought I was bored and feeling stifled with my career, but now I wondered if it was bigger than that. I was bored of my life, tired of playing a version of myself on and offscreen that was carefully crafted to be the most palatable to the public.