“I want the stupid guy. But I’ve made a choice that will fuck up his career if he’s with me and I won’t let him do that for me.”

“Shouldn’t that be his decision?”

“I don’t know. I don’t want to live like he does, always under the microscope and surrounded by criticism. I don’t want to be told whether or not I should be working at the dungeon. I don’t want to be referred to as ‘Alex Chase’s girlfriend’ for the rest of my life regardless of my own accomplishments. I don’t want to be the pathetic sex worker who fell for her client. This isn’t Pretty Woman and I don’t need anyone to save me.”

“That was a whole lot of what you don’t want. What do you want?”

I opened my mouth to babble some more, but she cut me off. “Don’t answer that yet. Go back to Ophelia’s. Turn your phone off. Take a bath. Think about it. I’m cancelling your clients for the next week at the very least. Beyond that, you can let me know.”

“Thank you.” She was making it sound like no big deal even though it would be a nightmare for her to deal with.

“It’s fine,” she said dismissively. “I’m going to let the girls back in.”

Ophelia was booked for the rest of the afternoon, so I called a ride to take me back to her place. I did as Victoria advised and sunk into a steaming hot bath, thoughts churning, but no longer threatening to overwhelm me.

I didn’t have to have the answers right now. As she’d reminded me, I was still Lady Elena whether I worked at The Key Club or not, and since I had the money from my contract with Alex, I didn’t need to go rushing into anything else. I could focus on getting through the backlash from Max and figure the rest out later.

As I went to bed that night, I was so exhausted and emotionally strung out, I was barely functional. I turned my phone off and buried it in my bag, planning to avoid the initial onslaught that would come with my story being published. The only people who mattered knew where to find me.

46

Alex

It had been almost two days since I screwed it all up, and I still woke up reaching for her. My fingers grasped nothing but cool sheets.

I checked my phone, still hoping to find she’d answered me, but there was nothing from her. My phone had been blowing up, though. Everyone from Asha to my mom had been calling and texting.

I clicked on a link in a message from Asha and it felt like the world dropped out from under me. It took me to a Hollywood Weekly piece written by Elena in which she detailed a horrific experience with Max when he’d been her client at the dungeon.

She hadn’t sensationalized it in her writing, and yet it was horrendous to read what she’d gone through. And I didn’t doubt for a second she’d really gone through this. It made too much sense, why she wouldn’t have told me about him, the way she shut down around him. I was the worst kind of asshole and would never forgive myself for the things I’d said to her that night when this is what she’d been dealing with. How had I not noticed?