I braced for it. I just knew it was coming. The “not all men” was inevitable because guys always made these discussions about them.

Instead, he said, “I’m sorry. I wonder what I could be doing better to support the women in my life.” The look in his eyes was earnest and deeply concerned. He wasn’t saying what he thought I wanted to hear. He’d actually listened, heard me, and thought about how he could do better.

I couldn’t answer him because I thought I might cry.

31

Elena

“Fuck. They’re never going to leave the poor man alone now.”

The rest of the video of my session with the VP had leaked just as the initial scandal was fading. I didn’t think the video was especially scandalous, but people were transfixed. He was a widower and he wasn’t the VP anymore. I really didn’t see why it mattered so much what he was doing in private. It showed the rest of the flogging and trampling, a little cane action. But the part people were focused on was that he’d sobbed at the end and professed how much he loved me as he got himself off. It was an intimate, vulnerable moment for him that should never have been public.

Whoever leaked it had surely broken the law, but that didn’t mean it wasn’t all over the internet already.

I needed to stop blaming myself. He’d sworn his people could vouch for the security of the hotel room we’d been in and I’d trusted him.

Alex’s soothing hand on my thigh as we drove to a dinner date did little to ease the tension in me. I’d courted fame, but now all I wanted was the calm safety of obscurity.

“Easy, sweetheart,” he murmured against my ear. “Everything’s going to be fine.”

I pulled away. “Easy for you to say.”

I felt raw and vulnerable, like I didn’t want to share any more of myself with the faceless masses.

The video was out now and I wasn’t ashamed of it. What I really didn’t want people to know was how much of a goner I was for Alex Chase.

I’d been so clear on the exchange going in. What remained of my privacy for riches and fame. I was feeling emotionally strung out because I’d somehow put more on the table than I’d ever planned to. It wasn’t just my fake feelings on display anymore.

It was so much more difficult to go through the charade when we were really into each other than it had been when we were still pretending. Before, I’d been pretending to like him. Now, I was trying to hide how much I liked him.

Dinner was a blur of many courses and forced smiles.

As we went to exit the restaurant, an attendant helped me into my coat. I turned to see a security guard whisper something to Alex who nodded, then quickly texted something on his phone. The answer came back almost instantly.