I’m well and truly ready to sleep and finally rid my mind of the image of Perry sitting on the couch in his underwear, legs propped up on the coffee table as he rubbed cream between his thighs. The hitched breaths and moans were torture and becoming impossible to shake from my memories.

I already jerked off in the shower. I’d say it was a weak moment, but it’s been building inside me all day, and the relief that flowed through my limbs as I touched myself thinking of him was too much to resist.

And now, thanks to that pornographic display of first aid, I’m going to have to do it again.

Perry is fucking with my head. He’s not sure of anything anymore? Fuck me. He’s either one of those straight guys who get off on a gay man’s attention, or he’s not so straight, and knowing that’s a possibility is breathing new life into my attraction.

I tuck my hands behind my head, staring up at the dark ceiling. There are so many more important things I should be thinking about—Colin, who wants me dead, whether I’m still going to be alive in a week—that it takes real power on Perry’s end to be the one coming out on top.

He has that vibe about him that makes everyone want to pay attention.

And when they don’t, he unintentionally does something stupid that gets their attention anyway.

My lips tug up in a smile over that.

Do I really think Perry is an idiot? Not at all. Under the negative self-talk and his external optimism over just about everything else is a smart man who loves his sister and is struggling to find his way out of a bad situation.

A situation he put himself in, sure, but he figured it out soon enough.

I’m sure there are plenty more people out there who would have kept going until their bullet hit. And even more people who would have killed me as soon as their own life was on the line.

But instead of that option, he wants to team up and get to the bottom of this.

Because above everything, Perry is a good person.

I’d said we’re more alike than I thought, but deep down, I’m not so sure I am a good person. Friendly and generally kind to people fits, but where Perry is putting what’s right first, I don’t think I’d be able to make that call. I’m too selfish.

Which isn’t a fun realization to have.

Maybe I’m better off smothering myself with a pillow—at least then I’ll do Perry a favor by finishing the job for him—and then Lars won’t need to worry about being dragged into this mess that has literally nothing to do with him.