She snapped out the lights and mostly black filled my room. I couldn’t see my hand or my nose or my tongue when I stuck it straight out. I thought about that morning after Rowan came home from the woods. After he stole those chocolate bars before school ended and Gloria took him for a walk with the sign. He smelled like wet dirt and smoke. I couldn’t tell what was grime and what was his skin map. He let me comb all the sand out of his hair. I even found a tick with a little dot on its back. I showed Rowan and I squished it between my fingernails. He said, “You saved me, Turtle. From a deadly disease.”

But I knew that was wrong. I didn’t save him. The night before, when Gloria came back from the woods by herself, I didn’t worry. Gloria gave me a tomato sandwich made on toast. She told me over and over how much she loved me and she let me take Rowan’s big blue book of Stories for Boys that he didn’t read no more, but didn’t share. A four-leaf clover was hiding in there. She put me in her bed and even let Chicken up. He snored like trees crashing down. It was so snuggly. In my head, I put Rowan in his own bed. He was asleep and happy. After I closed my eyes, I didn’t even wake up once.

I had to be a better sister.

Strange voices came in with the breeze. They were far away now, but I thought I could hear Telly. Darrell, too. They were in the woods with the other men, searching and searching. They were calling, “Row! Rowan Janes! Where are you?” I pinched my leg to stay awake. I waited and waited but I never heard him answer back.

ROWAN

Carl got to his feet. The yelping was getting closer and closer. Mixed among the man’s yowls was high-pitched giggling. Coming through the darkness. I heard feet trampling sticks. Two people were up on top of the bridge now. Stomping and laughing. Girl kept making that rumbling noise, but she didn’t leave Carl’s side.

My mouth was dry and my heart hammered. I could feel it in my lower jaw. Carl snapped on his flashlight, aimed it at the side of the bridge. “Stay still, Magic Boy,” he whispered. “Workers are at our door.”

I curled underneath my blanket. If I didn’t move, didn’t breathe, maybe they would keep walking along the tracks. They wouldn’t check underneath.

No.