“Don’t worry,” she said, and she sat down next to me. “I’m sure she’ll be fine. Grief is like that, sweetheart. Sometimes it settles for a while, and then a fresh wave can hit you. With no warning at all.”

I was having a fresh wave. It was cold and stung bad.

“He’s still here. You understand that, right?”

My woodpecker heart went right up my throat. Did Mrs. Spooner know Rowan was an angry wolf in the basement? I squished up my eyes to see her good. I looked at the stairs. Gloria was still sitting at the table. She licked her finger and turned some pages. I whispered to Mrs. Spooner, “Do you know where he is?”

“Of course I do.”

I opened my mouth. But no air came in. Everything was going fuzzy. She tapped me on the chest. “Your brother will always be right there. In your heart.”

Then I couldn’t keep it in. My new fresh wave had got too big. I started crying because I was so sad, and I couldn’t tell Mrs. Spooner the truth. I couldn’t tell her that since I found Rowan in the basement I was worried all the time. I worried about Gloria and I worried about Rowan, and I worried a man was coming and I worried that no one was coming at all.

Gloria’s head flew up. She slammed the book closed and stomped down the stairs.

“Oh,” Mrs. Spooner said. “Oh, I didn’t mean to upset you. There’s something I wanted you to have.” She gave me a paper. It had Rowan’s name on it with FINALIST on the bottom. “That was the writing contest your brother won, remember? He won second prize? They sent the certificate. I thought you’d like to have it.”

More crying rushed out, and my whole head was hot and hurting. Gloria was in front of me like a big shadow. “Why’re you making such a fuss, miss?”

“Oh, dear. That was me,” Mrs. Spooner said. She smiled at Gloria. “I was trying to make her feel better, but I did a rotten job of it.”

“Well, you needn’t’ve bothered.”

Mrs. Spooner’s mouth went open and Gloria grabbed my wrist. She yanked me out the door.

“Something off about a woman,” she said when we got to the road, “who wastes so much energy on everyone else’s kids and never put a single thought into having her own.”

All the way home the wind tried to steal Rowan’s paper. But I wouldn’t let it go.

ROWAN

“Telly finally made his decision.” Gloria stood in the doorway of the bathroom. Her yellow hair was sticking up and she had rings of makeup under her eyes. “He’s not coming home.”

There was no bowl in her hand. No spoon. “I can come out then?” I whispered.