Through my bedroom window I could hear Chicken snoring on the front step and Darrell’s motorcycle roar and pop. Shar was skipping rope in front of her house, and she must’ve been singing loud because I could hear that, too. “And how many big boys will I kiss? One, two, three…” She never got past three.

I wanted to go skipping with Shar, but I wasn’t allowed out. After I found Rowan in the basement, Gloria sent me to my room and said she didn’t want to see my sneaky spy face for the rest of my life. I pulled Rowan’s pillow out of my closet and cried into it until my nose was stuffed and my eyes were so fat I couldn’t even see.

A long, long time went by. Chicken barked and the screen door creaked when Gloria let him inside. Then Aunt Erma called Shar in for dinner. Finally, Gloria came into my bedroom. She brought me a peanut butter sandwich and it was cut in the shape of a heart. She sat on my bed and blew out a lot of air.

“Bids,” she said. She sounded sad.

I tried not to cry again. Everything inside me was full of holes. Like when Chicken took Jenny the Head’s oatmeal body and chomped Jenny’s heart up.

She put the plate on my lap. “You should eat something.”

I took the sandwich and I tried to smile. It didn’t taste too good. The bread was dry and stuck in my throat.

“You probably thought I was being rough earlier today.”

I chewed and nodded.

“I’m sorry you could think such a thing. But you need to trust Gloria.”

I nodded again.

She got real close to me. Her eyebrows were turned yellow now, too, and it looked like they weren’t there at all. “You got to understand, Bids. That’s not Rowan in the basement,” she said. “I know you think it is, but it’s not. So you can put that silly idea out of your head right now.”

I looked at her through my chubby eyes. I didn’t know what she meant. I pinched my arm when I was in the basement. I knew it was real.

“He came back, Bids, but he was different. Not normal. I didn’t know what to do.” She looked at her fingernails. They were painted a peachy color. “I just thought I’d give him a while. Keep him safe and sound, you know? I didn’t want him arrested and thrown in jail. Or some hospital for lunatics. I was trying to do the right thing.”

I took another bite of my sandwich, but my cheeks were filling up.

“Telly was supposed to come home. To help me figure things out.”

I chewed and chewed.

“I can tell you’re still confused.” She touched my arm. “Imagine Chicken, okay?”