After the bad fight with Telly, Gloria stayed in bed for a long time. Her hair got shiny and there were crumbs on the blanket. Tiny black ants crawled around. Gloria smacked at them, but most times she let them crawl. Mrs. Spooner and Mrs. Murtry knocked on the door, but Gloria wouldn’t get up. Everyone said they were real sad about Rowan, but Gloria told me she didn’t want anyone in the house. Sticking their nose in where it didn’t belong.

Lots of days went by and then Gloria got a phone call from work. When she hung up she said, “Two girls are off sick. They can’t manage without me.”

“Do you got to go?” I said.

She did a sigh. “I don’t have to. But it’ll be good for my head, Bids. To get out of here for a few hours.”

She made me go over to Aunt Erma’s. It wasn’t that bad. Me and Shar watched a movie and played games. It stank, though, because Aunt Erma smoked tons of cigarettes. When she dropped them in a can with a sip of soda in the bottom, they sizzled up. After lunch she heated up cookies for us. I liked them even if they tasted a little bit like cigarette smell.

Shar was winning checkers, and she said, “I can’t believe your brother was murdered. Drowned in the lake.” I didn’t say nothing back. Even though Shar was my best friend, sometimes I didn’t like her very much.

“Why don’t we go and find him?”

“What?”

“We’ll go at night so no one’ll catch us,” she said. “We could steal a boat and row out and take turns diving down with a flashlight.”

I shook my head.

“You don’t want to find your own brother? What a scaredy baby.”

Then Darrell’s door opened. He told Shar to shut up. “That’s a stupid idea,” he said. “And kind of shitty to even say, Shar.”

I wanted to push against Darrell. I wanted to hug him and put my face on his shirt and tell him how good he was.

After she was done work Gloria came and got me, and we walked home. I told her I had fun and I tried to forget what Shar said. But that night it went into my dreams. Me and Shar and Darrell went out to the middle of a big circle of black shiny water, and I dove down first. The flashlight in my hands gave out because water got in, and I knocked it, but it didn’t get fixed. I was afraid, but I touched around in the dark and I heard Rowan clear as day telling me, “I’m here, Turtle. I’m right here. Under your nose. Come find me.”