Other Titles

Also by Nicole Lundrigan

The Substitute

The Widow Tree

Glass Boys

The Seary Line

Thaw

Unraveling Arva

Contents

Cover

Also by Nicole Lundrigan

Title Page

Copyright

Dedication

Epigraph

Part One

Rowan

Maisy

Maisy

Rowan

Rowan

Maisy

Maisy

Rowan

Maisy

Rowan

Rowan

Maisy

Maisy

Rowan

Maisy

Rowan

Rowan

Maisy

Maisy

Rowan

Maisy

Rowan

Maisy

Rowan

Maisy

Rowan

Part Two

Rowan

Maisy

Maisy

Rowan

Maisy

Maisy

Rowan

Maisy

Maisy

Maisy

Maisy

Rowan

Maisy

Maisy

Rowan

Maisy

Maisy

Rowan

Maisy

Maisy

Rowan

Maisy

Rowan

Maisy

Maisy

Rowan

Maisy

Maisy

Rowan

Maisy

Part Three

Rowan

Maisy

Rowan

Maisy

Acknowledgements

About the Author

Dedication

For my guy, Miro.

And for Miro’s guy, Robert.

Epigraph

I thought how unpleasant it is to be locked out; and I thought how it is worse perhaps to be locked in.

VIRGINIA WOOLF, A ROOM OF ONE’S OWN

When he strikes, the surface opens up and lets him in. He drops down and down through the cold folds of water. Knees bent, his legs float forward, pale arms waving. Light from the full moon cuts through the blackness. Above, the outline of a figure leans over the boat, watching him sink. The oar still gripped in both hands.

He gasps, stomach and lungs filling with water. Twigs scrape across his spine, stringy plants slip through his fingers. He sinks deeper. The moon dims until it is just a thumbprint in a starless sky.

His mind goes blank. The water presses on him. He is shrinking and shrinking into the darkness, and any moment he will disappear.

Part One

ROWAN

I could tell by her face. She knew what I’d done. The school counselor had said he wouldn’t tell Gloria, but one glance at my mother and I was sure she’d gotten a phone call. When I walked down Pinchkiss Circle she was standing in front of our house holding a hammer and a piece of wood. As I got closer, I could see she’d painted a single misspelled word right in the middle of it.

THEIF.

I wasn’t expecting that.

The whole meeting with the counselor had been no big deal. That was what I’d thought, anyway. He wanted to talk about the change in my “family structure,” which meant Telly walking out on me and my little sister last month. Gloria had tried to hide it, but once our neighbor Mrs. Spooner noticed Telly’s truck was gone all the time, everyone soon found out. “Rowan, I know school’s almost over,” the counselor had said, “but I want to end on a positive. You’ve been upset, that’s clear, but some people do really constructive things with their anger.”

I didn’t know what he meant. Was I supposed to build something? Tear something down?

Then he asked if I had “good buddies to lean on.”

I shook my head.

“Boys to pal around with?”