She turned and looked up at him on the landing, a hope opening up inside her that he was calling her back. He would take her in his arms. They would lie on his bed like they had done a thousand times before. He would hold her and kiss her, make love to her—because he felt the loss too and wanted to hang on to her for as long as they had, every second that was left.

“I’ll call you later, okay?” he said. His face now softer. She could see the concern around his eyes—but it was not an invitation for her to come back to him.

“Okay,” she said as she forced a small smile and turned to leave.

On the front porch, she closed the Collinses’ front door behind her. Her hand lingered on the brass handle, and Adam’s ring caught her eye. That night. Adam’s unexpected proposal, and her yes.

Then, the suffocating rush of fear the next morning.

She loved him, more than anything, more than anyone, but there was a message. She remembered her mother’s own words, filled with regret, and often repeated to both her and Eileen whenever the opportunity presented itself.

I was too young when I married your father. I loved him too much, and it made me blind to all his flaws. I couldn’t see the path he was on. With a little more age, a little more experience, I would have known exactly where he was headed. Instead, I let him take me with him.

The morning after Adam’s proposal—waking up to him in his tent, naked between the piles of sleeping bags and blankets he’d brought—the small ring he’d given her felt like the weight of an entire lifetime pressing down on her.

“Adam?” she whispered.

He opened his eyes and smiled when he saw her on the pillow beside him. “I’m going to love waking up next to you every day of my life.”

She took a shaky breath. “I’m only eighteen,” she finally managed to say.

His eyes searched hers for a moment, but the shift in his expression told her he sensed what was coming. “I know that.” He sat up, gathering one of the blankets into his lap. “So am I.”

“I’m not ready,” she breathed and closed her eyes. “I’m sorry. I love you, but I’m not ready to get married.”

He turned away from her. It was impossible to make out the expression on his face.

“Are you angry?” she asked.

He sat there, motionless for several more seconds before he turned back to face her. “No…mostly, I feel stupid.”

Clare sat up too and shook her head. “You shouldn’t feel stupid,” she whispered.

“I’m scared, Clare.”

“So am I.”

“What are we going to do? I’ll be so far away. I can’t even…”

She didn’t have any answers.