A long silence stretched across the connection between them. Had she lost him? Had he hung up? A second later, she heard him gasp, then clear his throat. “She’s dead,” he blurted. His next inhale was deep. He held it for a long time. “I’m sorry, but she’s dead. I needed to tell you myself…before you heard it…somewhere else.”

“Clare?” Eileen whispered. “Clare?”

Another sob from Simon. “Clare,” he said.

A feather, long and bright white, lay in a tangle of brown grass and small stones a few feet away. Eileen stared at it. Cameron would want that. She should collect it and bring it home for him.

“Eileen? Are you there?”

“Yes, I’m here.”

“Can you…can you come? I need, um…I need help.”

“Yes. I’ll come,” she said, pulling her eyes from the feather. “How? What happened?” And when? Hadn’t she just this morning read about Clare attending the premiere of her movie last night? Was this even possible?

Simon sobbed uncontrollably into the phone.

“Simon.” She kept her voice steady, her mom voice, the one she’d used when Ryan broke his arm. “I’m coming. I’ll get a flight today. Tonight,” she corrected. She’d need to make so many arrangements before walking out of her house with a suitcase. “But please, try to tell me what happened.” Because Simon was right, the news would be reporting on Clare’s death soon. They might already have more details than Eileen did. She didn’t want to hear about it from the internet.

“Eileen…she shot herself.” His voice was barely audible over the cell connection, but Eileen heard enough to understand perfectly.

She just couldn’t believe it.

“No,” Eileen said, her voice more matter-of-fact than she had intended. “Clare wouldn’t…” Would she?

“People are here… I have to go. There’s some other problem. Please let me know what flight you’re on,” Simon said, and hung up.

She sat, her phone pressed to her ear for a long time after the call had ended. Clare Collins was beautiful, talented, successful, internationally adored—but that wasn’t what made it impossible for Eileen to believe her sister had committed suicide.

Long before Clare had become Clare Collins, she had been a force in the world. Audacious, fearless even. It didn’t add up. It didn’t make sense.

Why?

Why?

“Why would you do it, Clare?” she breathed.

She looked for the feather to take home for Cameron, but it was gone.

Chapter 3

Simon

Two years before Clare’s death

“Simon!” Clare called. Her bare feet raced one after the other down the west side of the split marble staircase. “Simon! The internet is down!”