I’m terrible at emotional conversations (like everyone in our family) so I wanted to put some thoughts down in case I never get to say them in person. I keep thinking of Mom, and of how things were when we were growing up. I’ve always regretted that we lost touch for a few years, and I wish

The letter stopped there. I turned the page, but it was blank. For a minute, I was confused, until I remembered the day I’d stormed into Osiris’s Vault. The one employee who’d helped me had mentioned that there were earlier versions of Caro’s message to me. That was what I was holding: her earlier drafts. My hands shook as I scanned the next one.

Deirdre,

I keep thinking of Mom, and how you never believe you’re going to end up like one of your parents, until you do. For so long I’ve wanted to talk to you honestly about our lives growing up, but I can’t seem to do it in person. I used to be angry at you for doing what you did. But the truth is I’m angry at myself for doing nothing. I don’t think I ever told you how much I admire you.

Like the first one, it stopped suddenly. The last one was very short.

Dodo,

You are a kind of a monster who kicks everyone’s ass, but I love you anyway.

I read each one over again and again. It was a strange gift, seeing my sister’s words—and hearing her voice in my head—after she was gone. Caro had never finished exactly what she’d wanted to say, but I knew her well enough to get the gist of it. I circled the block, dried my eyes, and went back to the house to be with our family.

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

I’ve said before that writing a novel is a solitary adventure, but that was especially true in lockdown and quarantine. I signed the contract for this book in November 2019, but by the time I turned it in, in June 2020, the whole world looked a lot different. For all the friends, family, and colleagues who made pandemic life bearable, I am eternally grateful.