But don’t presume my feelings, dear girl, don’t presume my thoughts and swim against the tide of human nature to place your faith in me. I do admit that it took me a moment to place you last night, but then, it has been some years and you are much changed. You must give me that, for I am not your run-of-the-mill idiot, you see. I consider myself rather special (☺) and so you should know some things as well—I am not unaware of how amazing you are, and I do have the sense to give you the consideration you deserve.

I have been in your place, so I know this is the hardest, craziest thing to do. You have shared something deeply personal and put yourself in a very vulnerable position. I absolutely respect that and wish more people had the guts to do it.

Six years. We have known each other for over half a decade now. And you are still so young—this must have lasted for much, if not all, of your adult life. Why did you never tell me, Tara? I wish you had told me.

Though perhaps I should have been less blind. I can, in retrospect, see a myriad clues spread out over the course of our few conversations over the years. I do not know why I consistently stuck my head in the sand. Perhaps because you were still a child. Or maybe because the time was never right. Even now, time and circumstance play an interesting game with each other.

But you have ensnared my curiosity most singularly, and not only because last night can be considered a definite life-highlight. For in such few words, you have captured me more, and more of me, than most I have ever known.

I suspect that you might feel inclined to bolt for the hills upon reading this and disappear quite completely on me. But do not fray, dear girl. Do not run away. Let us see where life takes us.

Will you have dinner with me tonight?

Dates

January 2014

Dear Jay,

On the way to meet you, terrified and on the verge of turning the car around, I sent you a text saying the only thing I could think: I'm very nervous.

I regretted it right away. We are not close friends; we do not have the degree of relationship that allows for discarding the conventions of communication enough to speak of uncomfortable truths. But you replied: Surprisingly, I am as well.

Fire and rain, storm and shore.

I will hold that feeling of being pleasantly surprised very close to me. It happens but rarely, and starts to mean more and more as life jades you down by validating expectations of disappointment.