It felt weird being so standoffi sh, because I could distinctly remember the feeling of being unfazed in the face of faze. But I hadn’t talked to anyone in days and my voice felt rusty from lack of use.

It occurred to me that I was subconsciously preparing to return home. Ha. Home, did I just think? Where is home, Tara? No—don’t panic. Just breathe. Stop. It’s okay. Figure it out. You still have some time. Figure out what home is.

‘Do you want any dressing on this? I could even make some just for you.’

‘Wha—ew!’

He laughed. It was a good-humoured laugh, cleaning up his entendre.

‘No, no dressing. This is good, thanks.’

He sliced tomatoes on to five-grain bread, lay down a line of black olives, wrapped it in a blanket of basil and sprinkled oregano over the whole thing. As I watched him, I saw his face not in the brightly lit sandwich shop, but somewhere else, somewhere I couldn’t quite place.

‘Hey, where do I know you from?’

‘Now you’re just making it too easy.’

I laughed. ‘No, really, I feel like we’ve met before.’

‘Have we? I feel like I’d have remembered meeting you.’

‘Mm, it’s not coming to me right now, but I’m pretty sure we have, yeah.’

‘So, I get off work in an hour. How do you feel about getting a coffee with me?’

‘Ah, I’m sorry, I have an insane amount of work to get done this week.’

‘Ouch. Okay, here you go. On the house.’ He handed me the wrapped sandwich.

‘Oh no, please don’t!’

‘It’s done, pretty lady. Think of it as a reward for being a good person.’

‘How do you know I’m a good person?’

‘Aren’t you?’

‘Nope. I eat babies.’

‘Fried?’

‘Baked. One tries to be healthy.’

He started cracking up and I asked whether they had a restroom before the repartee got away from me.

‘Straight through there and to the left.’

‘Thanks.’

In the bathroom, I paced for a while, working something off, some energy that was on edge. It worked, so I pulled out a torn scrap of tissue paper from my purse and scribbled a note in handwriting wrought barely legible by four years of typing college papers.

6146323614

Call me so I can hear that crazy Russian accent again.

-Tara

I put on some red lipstick like gunpowder, and slapped the tissue on to the counter as I walked out of the store. He looked up, surprised, but by the time he got to it, I had left the door swinging behind me.