Pasting on my best smile, I accepted hugs from all my family members—both blood and honorary—as the bar began filling up. I made sure to stay in a large group at all times, knowing if I were alone with my own thoughts for even a minute, the walls I’d put up to protect myself today would crumble and crash around me.

Music had been turned on, just a little background noise that played through the speakers and filled any silences that might occur. But too many people were already gathered for that to happen, and soon the sound of all the chatter drowned out the music altogether.

Samara stayed right beside me for the first hour, but at one point, she got pulled away by Bennie and Vito for something, leaving me alone with Delaney, Ciana, Tavia, and Lexa. With the exception of Ciana, the other three women were in varying stages of pregnancy, with Lexa being the furthest along and Tavia only a few weeks behind her due date. Delaney’s baby bump was just starting to form, but from the way Max kept looking at her, anyone would think she was about to push that baby out at any moment.

It was adorable, the way he couldn’t stand to be more than a few feet away from her at any given time. There were moments I looked at him and saw a fierce, almost terrifying expression on my cousin’s face, but then he would look over at his wife, and every emotion except for his love for her would drain from him. As if just by existing, his treasure made his life worth something.

That was what I wanted, I realized. What I’d always hoped to have—with Ryan.

Being faced with the reality that I’d been living in a fantasy, imagining what I felt for my best friend could ever be more than that, hurt more than I’d anticipated.

Having always been able to read my emotions, Ryan kept his distance, but I could feel his eyes on me. Every move I made, his gaze shifted with me. And just as he could read my emotions, I could read his, as if part of him were hot-wired inside me and I could detect his shift in moods. If I frowned, I felt him tense. If I smiled, I felt him relax a little. But he stayed away, knowing I wasn’t ready to talk to him yet.

It was only a matter of time, though. I knew I couldn’t avoid him the entire party. He’d flown all this way, when it was more than apparent he hadn’t really wanted to, just for my birthday. I couldn’t be rude and not at least thank him for coming.

Elias came up beside me, an all-too welcome distraction as he pushed a cup of punch into my hands before dropping his arm around my shoulders. “Great party, little beauty,” he said, pressing a kiss to my cheek. “But how about opening the presents already? I think you’ll like what I got you.”