I left to visit Shuxiao. She lived with Mengqi by the southern curve of the Celestial Kingdom, in a quiet place ringed by bamboo, shadowed by blue-gray mountains. The sight of the stone house with its arched roof of red tiles warmed me—the home my friend had always dreamed of, along with the companion of her heart. It soothed my spirit to sit with her and talk as we used to, beneath the shade of the trees in her courtyard. I was glad for the love she had found, even as it made me long for my own.

Impossible, my mind scoffed. There had been two great loves in my life, and there was no room in my heart for more.

I steeled myself for my next destination, the Eastern Sea. It was something I had to do, to quell the merciless voices within, to satisfy the grief that tore at me still. I did not know if that young soldier had been Prince Yanming—I never would—and wherever his spirit lay, I hoped he had found the peace he deserved. The dragons’ promise was a great comfort, and on the days when I was kind to myself, I imagined that he found some joy with the creatures he most loved, and that they loved him too.

The sight of the Fragrant Coral Palace sparked in me the same wonder as before, with its luminous rose quartz walls rising from the sapphire waters. Yet a weight bore down upon me, my feet dragging along the crystal archway which led to the entrance. The guards did not allow me in, an attendant dispatched in search of Prince Yanxi, yet I did not have long to wait. Prince Yanxi greeted me warmly, though his smile was somber. The sight of me would have brought back unwelcome recollections, those that hurt. When I shut my eyes and breathed in the salt-laced air, I could almost hear his brother’s bright gurgle of laughter, the patter of his footsteps as he ran toward me. My head lifted, my pulse quickening in anticipation, but then other memories crashed upon me—of his pale face a heartbeat before the guandao plunged through his chest. Ah, the pain cut deep. It was as Ping’er had once told me: Some scars are carved into our bones. And I thought to myself, some might even break them.

“May I see him?” My voice was tentative, part of me expecting a refusal. What right did I have to come here? I was neither kin nor close relation. But I had loved his brother and mourned him, and was that not a right in itself?

To my relief, he nodded. “Yanming would like that. Seeing you always made him happy.”