I should have moved away. Stumbled to my feet, and fled. Yet my head tilted toward him instead, as though tugged by an invisible thread. Something shifted in his expression, darkening with desire. His throat worked, a moment before his hand slid down the curve of my neck. His touch was firm yet tender, drawing me to him with a restrained passion that broke the last of my defenses. His mouth pressed against mine, seeking and fierce. My lips parted as he deepened the kiss, clasping me to him with a hunger that stole my breath. As his arm tightened around my waist like a band of iron, I arched closer, the press of his body firm and cool. Heat jolted down my spine, light flashing before me like the stars afire. Perhaps this spark had been there all along, muted, not extinguished. Perhaps it was my longing to feel something other than fear or despair—even if it was these confounding emotions he roused in me. Or it might have been his heartfelt words, the hurt I sensed deep within him.

Excuses. Lies, to shroud myself from the shameful truth that a part of me wanted him still, even after all he had done. A weakness that I wished I could undo. Almost shaking from the effort, I pushed against Wenzhi. He released me at once, breaking the embrace—his grave expression devoid of the triumph I expected.

“I had wondered all this time if it was him, alone, in your heart. How I longed to know if I was there too.” A fierce light shone from his eyes. “You still feel something for me, even though you’re too stubborn to admit it. Or are you afraid to?”

“Desire is not love.” I was eager to dismiss what had passed between us, to cheapen it and cast it from my mind. Why was it that I advanced readily into battle yet remained a coward in such matters?

“It is not,” he agreed. “But you, Xingyin, would not desire someone you care nothing for.”

My blood simmered at the assurance in his tone, yet I could not find the words to deny it. As his gaze flicked behind me, I swung around to find Liwei standing there, as still as stone—staring at me as though I were a stranger.

Chapter 28

I scrambled to my feet, fumbling for words that would not come. What could I say?

This is not what it looks like.

I can explain.

It meant nothing.

Except it was what it looked like, nor could I explain what had just happened, not even to myself. As for the last … I could not utter that lie. Whatever it was, it meant something, no matter how I wished it did not.

“Is this what you want? Have you decided?” Liwei asked steadily, his eyes devoid of light.

“No.” An ache stabbed my chest at the hurt in his expression.