“I know this is a lot sooner than we imagined. That this is not what you want.”

“I must go.” The words came slowly, the decision crystallizing as I spoke—and I knew it was the right one, even as the ache in my heart sharpened.

His eyes blazed as he grasped my hand. “Why must you leave?”

“I want to go home,” I repeated, pulling free of his hold, not from petulance, but because I could not allow anything to sway me.

A heavy silence settled over us as we stared at each other. “I know you are not happy here. I wish I could go with you,” he said at last. “But I can’t abandon my father and my kingdom. There is no one else who can rule in my stead.”

“I understand.” This was no hollow sentiment, for it was his choice as much as mine. We had to do what was right for ourselves, yet how it hurt that our paths had diverged. “Your place is here. There is no one better than you to rule. I would not have asked this of you.”

“You have every right to ask anything of me,” he said fiercely.

“I do not want to add to your cares.” Yet if I had not done this, I would not have known what I truly wanted—what I needed that he could no longer give me.

I swallowed hard, pushing myself to my feet. “Perhaps it is too late for us, Liwei; we can never go back to what we were.” There was no resentment in these words, only sorrow, for they hurt me too.

Liwei stood up, clasping me into his arms. I let myself lean against him—one last time, delaying the inevitable moment of pain. Yet though his warmth seeped through my robe and skin, it could no longer reach my heart.

“I’m sorry if I failed you,” he whispered into my hair. “You don’t have to decide this now. You could return home and come back whenever you are ready. I will wait for you.”

“You did not fail me; I failed us.” My voice cracked then. “Once I had accepted this as our life. And now I cannot bear it. I am weaker than I thought. I am tired of trying to be strong. And I … I cannot forget him. I do not want to.”

“You don’t have to face this alone.” He spoke with such fire, a little of the coldness within me thawed. “I will help you forget him. We will be happy, just as we were before. You would be a fine empress.”

I would not.