It would be the safest way. If I stole the Sacred Flame Feather from the slumbering sunbird, I could escape unscathed in both mind and body. It would be a kindness for us all … except it would be rooted in cowardice. Such an act would only feed Lady Xihe’s wrath, thicken our enmity, and we would end the worse for it.

What if the goddess did not survive? an insidious voice within me whispered. Was this not a worthwhile cause, to save the realms above and below? Was this not the choice my father had faced? Yet a sharp ache pierced my chest at the remembrance of the goddess’s grief, the sight of the lone sunbird in the chariot when once there had been ten. I could not wrong them further. I could not do this craven thing; I would be as contemptible as Wugang if I did.

I did not believe Wugang had been born evil. Perhaps the seed of it lay in us all. But while Wugang had been betrayed, most cruelly—he had chosen this path. So much in life was left to chance. Some had to curve and twist to get ahead, forced to bend with the wind to remain standing, suffering storms that left others unscathed. Yet we could not blame fate for the choices we made—the rewards were ours to reap, as were the consequences ours to bear. And it was moments as these that formed who we were … what we would become.

“I can’t,” I told Wenzhi. “Not after all we’ve taken from her and her family. I will ask it of her.”

Wenzhi stiffened. “Xingyin, consider this carefully. Lady Xihe is no benevolent immortal who will stroke your hair and praise you for your honesty as she sends you on your way, feather in hand. She has nursed her pain for as many years as you have lived. If she learns who you are, she will kill you.” His voice roughened with emotion. “And if she does, rest assured that I will kill her.”

A tremor ran through me at the vehemence in his tone. Was this why the key could not be given to him? “I won’t tell her who I am. I will convince her of our need.”

“You would lie to her but not steal?” Wenzhi’s eyes blazed. “Xingyin, what is honor to your life?”

“What is life without honor? Untethered, we are no better than Wugang.”

“No better than I was,” he said bitterly.

“That is not what I meant.” Once I had believed it of him. And now, I was no longer sure. “Lady Xihe will see reason; Wugang is a threat to us all. If she tries to attack me, I will defend myself.”