My throat went dry. I smothered my instinctive protest as my mind raced. A torment to see his pain, even as I hurt too—yet this might be the only way I could fulfill my vow to the empress. Even then I could not choke out the false admission … in the end, my silence serving as a louder confession than anything else might.

“It is why you let him visit you, why you kept your distance from me in the past year. You did not pull away but neither did you come forward. Even after all he did”—he paused, holding my gaze—“you still want him.”

I flinched inwardly, looking away—whether from confusion or guilt, I no longer knew. Lies and truths, interwoven so tight I could no longer tell them apart.

“I’m sorry.” Somehow, I managed to keep myself steady, watching the light in his eyes dwindle until the black was all that remained. How I hated myself for giving Liwei cause to believe this so readily of me, for hurting him, for hurting us.

“What will you do?” he asked.

“Nothing. I cannot be with him after what he did.” A relief, to speak honestly at last. “But you deserve better than a divided heart, as do I.”

“It would be enough for me.” He spoke with such intensity, it stole my breath. “I could help you forget him. We could go back to what we were.”

“No,” I made myself say. “We cannot rewrite the past, nor can we foresee the future. It would not be fair to make promises we cannot keep.”

He raised a hand to my face, his fingers trailing slowly down my cheek. “I told you once, my heart is yours, that it will always be yours. I hope one day you will want it again.”

He moved away from me then, clasping his hands behind his back as he stared into the horizon. The ache in my chest sharpened, almost splintering apart. Just ahead, the curve of the Southern Sea glittered. Before entering its waters, Liwei cast an invisibility enchantment over himself, disguising his aura. Perhaps the guards had grown accustomed to my presence, for they no longer appeared to escort us through the passageway. Yet I would take no chances, channeling my magic to mask Liwei’s presence from those guarding the entrance.

One of them halted me. “What spell is this?”

I stared pointedly at his cloak of dragon yarn. “To keep myself dry. I am tired of getting drenched every time I come through here.”

He waved me aside, his eyes glazing over with disinterest. I strode past him, hiding my relief. The grounds were not as well secured as those of the Jade Palace, because few made their way here without Queen Suihe’s permission.

In the Bright Pearl Palace, I led Liwei to my chamber, halting outside the door. “You may have my room.”