We shared the last pack of almonds and then Charlie and I fell in line behind Tuck. The sky was again cast in tangerine the way it had been the day before and gave off that same hazy glow that was both beautiful and bizarre. Haunting.

I hefted my suitcase higher, attempting to rest some of the weight on the front of my hip without disturbing my bandaged wound. “Here, babe, I’ll carry that,” Charlie said. I resisted, but not overly much because, God, it really was heavy and cumbersome and when Charlie took it, I sighed with relief. But when he transferred it to his other hand, I caught the fleeting expression of annoyance.

We continued walking, my guilt increasing with every step. Because what was the point of holding on to something that was supposed to represent independence, if it was causing my boyfriend to have to suffer under the weight? How was that independent? How did that signify girl power? You’re a sellout. And how long were Tuck’s angry words about me lacking talent going to repeat in my mind?

I stopped and so did Charlie, allowing me to grab the suitcase from his hand. “You know what? Fuck it,” I said, as I tossed it to the side of the road. “I can replace my stuff too. And I’m sick to death of lugging that stupid thing along.”

I brushed my hands together and began marching forward, Charlie caught up and slung his arm around me. “Being rich is freeing, right? Like I said, when we get back to LA, we’ll go on a shopping spree.”

“Sounds dreamy.”

Tuck had stopped and turned toward us when I’d chucked the luggage. Before he turned back, he pressed his lips together, and I swore I saw a tiny flicker of amusement move over his expression. Laugh if you will, Tuck. I’ll show you. I’ll show everyone. I had beat all the odds so far and I’d continue to do so.

We traveled, and walked, and walked some more. The sun rose higher, a yellow swath across the orange sky. At some point we ran out of water and so we stopped and gathered snow in our water bottles and then pressed the plastic against our bodies as we walked to melt it.

As I trailed Tuck, my mind roamed freely. And it was the weirdest thing because I realized that my mind hadn’t done that in…well, probably years. It was a sort of panicky sensation not to have anything to reel me back in. I kept reaching for my phone to distract myself, and each time I looked at its blank screen, a trill of fear would vibrate inside me. I saw Charlie doing the same thing, patting his pocket intermittently and then flinching.