It was a beautiful day, the sky powder blue and dotted with silver-tinged clouds. I felt strangely free, as if all my problems were still on the ground, and up here, I was only me, completely washed clean of all I’d left behind.

Part of me wanted this flight to last forever. Nothing would take away what I did or who it affected, but racing through the clouds, it felt as though none of that existed. As if I’d never fucked up anything. As if I didn’t have a past that would be a proverbial manacle for the rest of my life. I’d been somewhat unwilling to “go there” in my head as of late when there were more pressing matters to address—namely, the ability to eat—but I knew I’d have to, eventually. I knew I should, eventually. But up here, the temporary sensation of freedom felt more than welcome.

I sighed, glancing over at Emily, and her eyes widened slightly as though whatever was on my face had surprised her. She gave me a small, wobbly smile.

Charlie said something to her, and she leaned into him, laughing softly and then taking his hand in hers, squeezing it. I turned toward the window again, removing my paperback from the pocket on the wall and cracking it open. For the next couple of hours, I buried my nose in my book, tuning out the soft murmurs and occasional laughter from Emily and Charlie.

“Darn, I left my lip gloss in my purse,” I heard Emily say from next to me. “My lips always get so chapped on flights.”

“Do you want me to grab it for you?” Charlie asked.

Emily unbuckled. “No, it’s fine. I’m right here. I think my purse is near the front.” She stood, opening the overhead bin, her ass in my face as she began rustling through the bags overhead. I dog-eared the page I’d stopped on and placed the book on the seat next to me. “Shoot,” she said just as a number of items fell to the floor and rolled beneath my seat. I leaned down to start gathering them.

Emily bent too, and our heads bumped, both of us letting out a sound of surprise, and then laughing as we pulled back.

“Sorry,” we both said at the same time. She laughed again, shaking her head and picking up a bag that was at her feet. It must have been upside down because as she lifted it, a pile of small baggies fell out, fluttering to the ground.