I took my water out and drank another small sip. I’d have to make this last until I made it to Emily, and it was going to be tight. I’d likely arrive parched, but I’d arrive. I wouldn’t give up, because I was worried about what the guard at the first barricade had insinuated. Emily might be in trouble. But even if she wasn’t, I had to tell her I loved her, and then I’d beg her to come back to her parents’ farm. Or if she’d found the purpose she was looking for in San Diego, then I’d stay if she let me. I’d find my own purpose doing something local, returning each evening to her side, creating my legacy wherever she was.

Please don’t be too late.

Please wait for me, Em. I don’t deserve you. It turns out I never have. But please wait for me.

The click of a gun brought me from my thoughts, and I ducked and pivoted. A man with a shotgun was standing behind me, barrel pointed at my chest. “Drop your backpack. It’s all I want.” He was crying and shaking, and the gun wavered from side to side. “Haven’t eaten in a week,” he said.

I brought my hands up. “Whoa, hey relax, okay? We’re all hungry. We’re all trying to survive.” I took off my backpack slowly and then set it on the ground. “I’ll give you some of my food,” I said. “But I can’t give it all. You know that. I’m willing to share.”

“You’re not willing to do shit! This gun is convincing you to. The world has gone to hell, man. Fuck this! Toss your bag over now. Now!”

The gun shook and the man let out another sob, and goddammit, but I just needed to get to Emily. But this man was right, the world had gone to hell, and if I was going to make it to San Diego, I couldn’t do it without food and water. The Swansons had offered to give me one of their weapons and some ammo, but I couldn’t allow them to do that. I never would have forgiven myself if I left them without enough defense and they’d ended up needing it.

My brain was shuffling through my options. The man was desperate and unpredictable, but he was also going to be easy to overcome and likely couldn’t hit a target that was still and directly in front of him. A loud pop startled me, and I dove to the ground, a bloody hole appearing in the center of the man’s forehead, mouth falling open right before he dropped.