Back Haunted Honeymoon
Chapters (26)
  1. Cover
  2. Title Page
  3. Copyright Page
  4. Dedication
  5. Prologue
  6. one Love to Blood You, Baby
  7. two Good Help Is Fine to Bite
  8. three Once Bitten, Twice Snide
  9. four An American, a Broad
  10. five My Fair Vampire
  11. six Bite Me, Spank Me, Make Me Bite Your Neck
  12. seven Blood the One You’re With
  13. eight Love Lies Bleeding
  14. nine Dance with the She-Devil
  15. ten Is That a Stake in Your Pocket, or Are You Just Happy to See Me?
  16. eleven Countrycide
  17. twelve Headshrinkers, Blood Drinkers, Mental Blinkers
  18. thirteen Once Bitten, Twice Snide
  19. fourteen You’re No Body Until Somebody Bloods You
  20. fifteen Shrinks, Kinks, and Drinks
  21. sixteen Zombies and Vamps, Oh, Please
  22. seventeen This Is Your Brain Unplugged
  23. eighteen Dead Reckoning
  24. nineteen Fly Me to the Loon
  25. twenty Get Me to the Club on Time
  26. Back Cover

“Yes, you met with the Council when you were going to marry Oswald,” he said. “Now, if you don’t regain your memory …”

“But I will. I’m not going to toss away two years of my life because, ooh, I can’t face reality. I’m willing to do the hard work of wearing my big-girl granny panties.”

“You in big granny panties, how hot!”

“You’d know if you gave me a full-body search.” When he stopped laughing I said, “I’m also not supposed to flirt even though I’m guessing you don’t swing my way.”

“If I swung your way, I’d swing your way,” he said, and winked.

“Hey, that’s something I say!”

“Who do you think I got it from? All right, no flirting, but I’ll pass along a pointer I learned from a waitress. The higher the ponytail, the bigger the tip.”

“You have earned my respect forever.” I pulled out my scrunchie and gathered my hair into a high ponytail. “Now let’s have a drink.”

The sun was low in the sky, just edging behind the mountains, and the sky was deepening to indigo. Lily sat in one of the teak chairs beside AG. Mrs. Grant was mixing a shaker of cocktails, and Oswald set a platter of antipasto on a table.

“Sit by me, Young Lady,” Gabriel said, as he took a chair on one side.

I looked at him and said, “Why does everyone call me that?”

The others looked at Mrs. Grant, who said, “Because I’ve always hoped you’d act like one.”

“Ha, ha, and ha,” I said. “What are we drinking?”

“Pink cellos from my homemade limoncello, vodka, and cranberry juice.” Mrs. Grant poured out the drinks in martini glasses.

I took a sip of the tangy, fruity drink, and AG turned to Gabriel. “How is Charlie’s hotel search going?”

“He’s still looking in foggy towns for a place he can remodel into a boutique hotel for family members.”

“Do you want the responsibility of a hotel?” Oswald asked. He leaned back against a pillar facing us and I admired his shoulder-to-hip proportions.

“It’s Charlie’s dream,” the redheaded man said. “I can’t complain about him taking a time-consuming project when I’m gone so much.”

I was thinking that the vista was so beautiful and that it was such a treat to enjoy the evening with companions, to share this relaxed time, this spirit of camaraderie, when Oswald said to his cousin, “You’re lucky that you’ve got a partner who has his own interests to pursue instead of someone so bored that she … I mean, um, you’re lucky he’s got a career.”

In the silence that followed, I deduced that Oswald’s comment was a reference to me. I put down my drink and said, “Excuse me, but I’m feeling worn out. I think I’ll go rest.”

I felt their eyes on me as I left, and Gabriel whispered, “Oswald!”