“Get her other fucking arm,” he shouted at me. I tried, but she lashed it away like a whip before making the hand I used to hold into a fist and punching the opening in my stomach. All the air left my body as I felt the tube travel through me. The pain pushed me back against the wall and the syringes fell from my pocket, my secrets exposed as I dropped to my knees. I held my stomach, pressed the dressing around the tube hard to keep any blood from spilling. Mum was thrashing, still on the bed. She’d pulled the gag from her mouth and screamed just once before Tony, straddling her now, pushed a pillow hard into her face. She bucked and twisted beneath him, trying to unseat him with the strength that I know only comes when there’s nothing left to lose.

Tony swore as his feet and knees slipped against the sheets, he couldn’t keep her back and hold the pillow against her face. He leaned his weight forward, his palm flat, pushing all his weight down against the pillow. He looked wildly around the room for help. That’s when he saw it. Next to him on the bedside table was the iron lamp that used to be Granddad’s, stout and heavy. Bracing himself against the pillow he pulled it from its socket in one quick flick. He released his hand and Mum threw the pillow off her face, gasping like she’d just been dragged out from underwater. He turned the lamp upside down and raised it, high above his head. He paused, as though giving Mum time to recognize this moment so she knew this was how it ended. I heard a sound. It started as a murmur and turned into a shout. I realized it was coming from me. “No, no, no, no!” Mum turned towards me, no longer than a second, but I knew we both saw something in the other that was entirely new. For the first time in my life it felt like we truly knew each other. She made the shape of my name with her mouth, my real name, but no sound came before the lamp flew down fast. I screamed as one of its curled feet struck her forehead. Her limbs tensed and she made a sucking sound as he pulled the lamp away and brought it down, harder, again, again, harder. Until her face couldn’t be called a face anymore and there was no life left in her body. It just lay there, completely emptied. Tony was left panting above her, the lamp shaking in his gloved hand. He blinked at it, as though surprised to find it attached to his arm, before he dropped it to the floor. He slowly stood up and stared down at Mum bleeding quietly beneath him. Then, his head cocked to one side, like he was admiring his work, he turned to me. There was blood splattered across his face. His eyes were fired, crazed with life, as though he’d sucked all Mum’s strength out of her and it now flowed directly through him. He looked at me and, smiling, raised one finger to his lips.