She gives me an “Are you sure?” look before sitting up and pressing the answer button.

“Zar, I’m just busy now with Cara, she’s—” but Mum doesn’t finish what she’s about to say. I hear Zara’s voice, small but urgent on the end of the line.

“Oh God, really?” Mum says. My bed rises as she stands. I feel all my back muscles tense.

“You’re sure?” Mum sounds almost excited.

Zara babbles some more on the other end of the phone. I tell myself it doesn’t necessarily mean something bad. Knowing Zara, it could be anything from Grace being found to an unexpected sale in Topshop.

“God,” Mum says, phone clamped to her ear as she walks across the hall and stares at the pictures on the hall wall. “I can’t figure out whether this is good news or not. So it’s a secure unit, is it?”

I’m out of bed now. I don’t want to miss anything.

“What is it?” I mouth at Mum but she just shakes her head. She needs to concentrate.

My insides twist and I think of Jon. Has he gone and done something stupid? Got himself arrested again?

Mum’s nodding along with whatever Zara’s saying, before at last she rounds off the call.

“OK, Zar, well, thanks for letting me know. Pop over for tea tomorrow if you want. Cara and I will be here.” She turns to me, smiling at the thought that we’ll be here tomorrow, together. She hangs up, drops the phone back into her pocket with a long exhale.

“What is it, Mum?”

She takes my hand and, turning towards me, says, “I don’t want to upset you, Car, but you should know. It’s not . . . it’s not nice but it may help you feel a bit safer.” She’s trying hard to smooth away the smile that keeps creeping onto her lips. “Simon Davis tried to kill himself this morning.”

I feel my body twitch involuntarily. Mum doesn’t notice, and keeps talking.

“You know Zara’s cousin Remi is dating a police officer? Well, he told Remi and of course Remi told Zara.” Mum lowers her voice to a whisper. It sounds mean, too gleeful for the words. “He was in a secure psychiatric hospital but he got a razor from somewhere. He must have made such a mess.” I see the dark red rust color of Meg’s broken head.

“Oh, Car, you look terrified. Sorry, love, I didn’t mean to upset you.” She pulls me into a hug, rocks me back and forth. I smell all the chemicals on her. I can’t breathe.

“Shhhh, shhhh,” Mum sighs into my ear even though I’m not making any noise. At last she lets me go, still holding my hand, and smiles at me sadly.

“Come on, get back under the covers.” I let her lead me and she sits back on the end of my bed. It makes me think of all those times I saw Meg sitting on the end of Grace’s bed.