The day I finally left, I stood on the upper deck of the ferry, surprised at how easy it was to go. The island was like a glowing light that dimmed when we rounded the four sharp jetties, the Claws. Dimmed when we entered Vineyard Sound. Dimmed except for one speck of light, which was bright and painfully hot and scorched as I waited for it to disappear, one scorching speck of light, which was Lucas, waving from the dock.

But then my mother got sick, and I came home, stayed home. It sometimes felt like it was the island that had brought me back. But I didn’t care. I loved it. I had to. When my mother died, I loved it even more. It was my new mother. It was all I had.

Every time I got on the ferry, I felt it again, the spark of light—my connection to Lucas as bright and electric as any lighthouse strobe. Every year it seemed to grow larger and fiercer, a whole blaze. And now it wouldn’t dim. It never dimmed. It stayed hot and lit, pulling at me with its heat and brightness. Who could blame me for not wanting to ignite that blaze?

But here I was on the uppermost deck of the ferry, watching Wolf Island grow smaller and smaller behind me. I had made a decision to pursue the one clue I had about Cole’s life—I was on my way to Lindenberg, to Emily’s Bridge. It wasn’t much, but sometimes all you need is one thread, one quick pull, and everything unravels.

I clutched the railing. Birds rode alongside me on the gusts of wind. The people back at the landing were like miniature versions of themselves. The postmaster was playing the bagpipes, the instrument like some outsize heart he had to hold outside his body. And there was Eddie lumbering down the street. I felt an intense desire for him to look up and see me. I wanted him to know that I was leaving the island. I wanted someone to know. I saw Jack’s. I saw Mady’s Diner. The Island Inn. The information booth. I could almost see myself there. I was waving. Goodbye. Goodbye.

When we reached the landing in Carson Cove, I drove off the ferry into the brightness. The sound of my tires on the grooved plank sent blood pumping through my temples. Carson Cove had a bright sky. On the sand was the carcass of a huge fish, pecked over by birds.

I parked the car and went into the Carson Cove ferry terminal.