“You know what?” the mother said. “I’m tired. I don’t much like to think about him, if I’m being honest. Why don’t you kids go back to where you came from now. And give him this message. You tell him I don’t want to see him anymore. Tell him Emily doesn’t want to see him.”

I pictured Emily, back at the hospital, still asleep, unable to tell anyone what had happened to her, unable to say if she wanted to see him or not.

“You tell him neither of us wants anything to do with him,” the mother went on. “She doesn’t and I don’t. Tell him no one here wants to see him ever again.” It seemed like she might go on forever saying it over and over if I didn’t stop her.

“I don’t think he wants to come back,” I said finally.

“He can go to hell,” the mother said. Then she looked frightened by her own words. “He probably thinks she’s dead,” she said, in a miserable voice. “He can’t face it. But you tell him she’s alive! She’s still alive!”

Chapter 28

28

In the hotel room, we didn’t turn on the TV. I felt jumpy and breathless. The wind rattled the door. A moth hit the window screen and I jumped up and peered outside, terrified.

“Here,” Tuck said. “Look what I’ve got. A sleeping pill.”

I shook my head. “Something’s wrong,” I said. “Something is definitely wrong. I don’t know what.”

Many things were wrong. I tried to list them in an orderly fashion, silently numbering them to keep track of my fear. One, there were moths at the window screen. Two, I was so far from home. Three, the girl in the bed had been sleeping since August. Four, I had fucked someone’s husband. Five, what were they doing at home without me? Six, the baby in his coffin. Seven, all those candles they were always lighting to bring him back. Eight, Cole and Cecily, Cecily and Cole. I mean Anthony. Nine, wind in the trees, and crows. Ten, the girl in the bed with her puffy face, her mouth parted, how she had plummeted down the stairs.

“We don’t know what happened to her,” Tuck said as if he could read my mind.

“I know what happened to her. He did it.”

“It sounds like that couldn’t have happened. You heard what she said about the neighbors.”

“Of course his mother doesn’t think that’s what happened.”

“Well, we’re safe here,” Tuck insisted.