Lucas sat up in bed. Something struck me as strange, but I couldn’t tell what. Then I realized: it was a proportion problem. Lucas, with his broad shoulders, looked ridiculous in this twin bed. I didn’t know why I’d never noticed before. His feet and hands were enormous. His chest seemed to take up the entire width of the bed. He looked like what he was: a grown-up in a child’s bed.

I saw he hadn’t put an extra blanket on his bed even though the nights were cold now. I went over to his closet and grabbed an old down comforter.

“I didn’t mean it,” he said sleepily, and at first I couldn’t remember what he was talking about. Then I remembered how he’d said we don’t need you. “I just don’t want you to say no without considering the house—”

“It’s not that. Listen, something happened tonight,” I began. He had to hear it, he had to. I was resolved. If anything could help him see Cole clearly, it was this. And I needed Lucas on my side again, needed him as an ally helping me figure out what the fuck was going on. This would be hard, but it would shift the balance of power still further—hopefully in my direction. “There’s something you should know about Cole.”

After I told him, he looked out the window. Maybe he could see in the dark. I waited for some burst of emotion from him, something to match what I was feeling.

“You realize,” he said, finally, “that this is it for me. This life?”

I looked around the room. “Me, too.”

“No, it’s different for me. I’m stuck here. It’s not like I’m going to grow up and get married someday. I’m not going to have children or a career. Don’t look at me like that, Lyd. You know it’s true. I’m not good that way. I’m only good here, in this house, with the family I already have.”

“Well, I’m not exactly heading toward marriage or any of that either.”

“But for you it’s a choice. I don’t have a choice.”

“Of course you do.”

“No, it’s not worth it, it’s not worth it.” He looked determined, sad. “You and Cole are the only family I’ll ever have. It’s all I have. Why are you trying to take it from me?”

I shook my head. “Me? I’m not—it’s him. He’s the one who showed up and changed everything—”

“You could have someone else. If that’s what you’re looking for, you could find someone else. He’s my brother. Do you understand what a beautiful thing it is to have a brother?”

“Yes,” I said. “I do.”