When he was dressed, Tuck and I sat on the couch wrapped in blankets, and Lucas built a fire for us. We kept holding our hands out to soak up the heat. Tuck drank a beer, and I drank hot water with nothing in it.

“Who’s going to start?” Tuck said.

“He chased me into the water,” I said. “We were on the houseboat, and when I tried to escape, he smashed my head with something.”

Lucas shook his head. “You fell and hit your head,” he said. “Cole said you were balancing on the railing.”

“The police are looking for him,” I told Tuck.

“Listen to me,” Lucas said, leaning forward. “You have this all wrong. There’s a lot about Cole that we didn’t know. He told me tonight. And maybe I shouldn’t say anything, but it might help you understand. See, he was married, and something happened to his wife. She was in an accident, a bad one. She was in a coma, Lyd. So when you hit your head tonight, it brought back a lot of those old memories. That’s why he ran off. He couldn’t face that happening again. I’m actually really worried about him.”

“You know who he is?” I said. “He’s the little boy from the houseboat. He spent summers on that houseboat every year until his sister died... Holly.”

“That doesn’t sound right,” Lucas said, shaking his head. “You’re confused, Lydia. You’re mixing up a bunch of different stories.”

I leaned my head on the back of the couch and rested my eyes for a minute. When I closed my eyes I still experienced the sensation of rocking. I was in the red houseboat swinging on the waves; I was in the rowboat lurching toward shore. I opened my eyes and looked at my brother, at his golden eyes and hair. He was such a beautiful man. I knew not everyone would see him as I saw him; the sunburn, the chaos of clothes and hair wouldn’t be beautiful to everyone. But to me, there was no one more lovely.

The way Lucas saw Cole, it was like he was looking at a photograph. He didn’t see the real man, only the snapshot. He saw only what Cole wanted him to see. Or maybe he saw what he wanted to see. When we looked at Cole, Lucas and I were not seeing the same man, that was for sure.

I was too tired, too achy, too dizzy to argue with Lucas tonight. And in the back of my head was the thought that there would never be a time to talk to Lucas about Cole. Because Lucas wouldn’t believe me. He wouldn’t. I understood this so clearly. When he stood to go to bed, I felt a sharp, fierce loneliness.