I could feel the birthmark on my cheek catching fire.

“What more could there be? The ferry, and the grave—” Then all at once his eyes widened with understanding. He waited but I didn’t say anything. “Wait. Did you—you slept with him?”

“No,” I said. “Yes.” I stopped talking and watched the expression on his face, the permutations of surprise and confusion and maybe betrayal. I wanted to tell him about the Island Inn, and Annabel Lee, about that night in the storm, the way I’d felt caught in some fierce current—how I’d wanted to hold on to Cole, keep him close, invade and conquer him—because he held answers I needed, and even the questions were something he had brought to me. How I hated him, but I was grateful to him as well. Even now. Even still.

“Wow.” Tuck leaned back and ran one hand through his hair. “When did this happen?”

“Before I knew—before I realized—before I met you in Carson Cove that day. I feel so stupid.”

He looked around at the cold, sunny streets, the Christmas lights in windows, the carved wooden signs. Classical music piped out from one of the shops across the street, triumphant violins and cellos totally at odds with the way I felt. I was the opposite of triumphant. I was triumphed over. I was tiny.

“You don’t have to explain yourself to me,” Tuck said. “Obviously. But I’m wondering what we’re even doing here? Because now—”

“Now I have to find out who he is. Now more than ever.”

“Because now you like him?”

“No. Because I—I feel like he’s taking everything from me. He’s taking my place.” I leaned toward Tuck. “It’s like I don’t have a home anymore. We have to do something before it’s too late.”

Tuck stood up. He looked up and down the street.

“Maybe it’s already too late,” he said, cool and cruel. “I’m going for a walk.” He went to the corner and then disappeared. I knew from being Lucas’s sister that it’s better to let someone walk away. They’ll come back when they’re ready, when the walking has cleared a good space in their thoughts, when they’re ready to forgive, or agree on a truce.

But I waited for an hour, getting colder and colder, and Tuck didn’t come back. I bought a sandwich, and walked back to the motel, where I saw with relief Tuck’s rusty car still in the parking lot. In the dark motel room, I ate the sandwich and waited for Tuck.

I waited all afternoon.