God Loved You Before You Were Born

Oh, that marvel of conception…

What a miracle of skin and bone, muscle and brain.

You gave me life itself, and incredible love.

You watched and guarded every breath I took.

—JOB 10:10–12 (THE MESSAGE)

Billy Bigelow is a barker—a colorful, fast-talking character who attracts crowds at the gates of an old-fashioned carnival. He is the hero of the classic Rodgers and Hammerstein musical Carousel. Bigelow is rowdy, restless, proud, and given to fist-fights and carousing. But something good happens to him at the beginning of the story: He meets and marries Julie Jordan. Their marriage, however, is filled with quarreling. Bigelow has lost his job, and his shady friends invite him to help commit a robbery. Then, as he considers the offer, Billy Bigelow’s world is changed. He learns that he and Julie are going to become parents.

To demonstrate Bigelow’s deep joy and exhilaration, Rodgers and Hammerstein give their hero a lengthy song called “Soliloquy.” It’s about three times the length of a typical Broadway song. The macho Bigelow imagines a son, a namesake, who will be rough-and-ready, strong enough to do any job he takes on: “My boy Bill, he’ll be tall and tough as a tree, will Bill!” The father-to-be glories over the wonderful possibilities. Maybe he’ll be a carnival barker like his old man, or maybe he’ll be elected president. Anything is possible for this child.

And then a sudden realization hits Bigelow—What if the baby is a girl? The song comes to a screeching halt. But not for long. As he considers the possibility of having a sweet little duplicate of his wife, he warms to the idea and begins to sing of his concerns about how to raise a little girl. But finally, with fists clenched in firm resolve, he bellows at the top of his range, “I’ll try, I’ll try, I’ll try!” Whatever is required, that’s what he will do, for a daughter needs a father.

Here’s my point in relating this story: It doesn’t matter whether Bigelow has a son or a daughter; he is already head-over-heels in love with a child who won’t arrive for several months. His life has found a theme.

Tragically, Bigelow concludes that he will need money to be a good father, and he dies trying to steal it. Later, he returns as a spirit to see his little girl grown strong and proud, just as he predicted. Carousel gets its ideas of heaven and salvation all wrong, but its depiction of a father’s love for his unborn child is right on the money. We recognize it from our own experience.