I felt the need to elaborate, in case he didn’t get it. “Rubio called the dens ‘blueprints for the new society’—each den working on a different way to live in this fucked-up world we’re left with. He’d go on about how we have to face being on our own, because the world isn’t going to be fixed any time soon. We need to be flexible and adapt. The move to the stadium is the next phase: taking what’s good with each system and melding them into something new. Sure, this move could destroy us, but it could be the key to our long-term survival. Maybe I’m crazy, but I don’t want to run away from that challenge. I want to be a part of it, to see what happens. Like you said you felt, even after . . .”

His smile dimmed. “After Sara died.”

At least he’d been listening. “Yes.”

“Hadn’t figured you for such an idealist.”

I was surprised myself. “Must be Lizzy’s influence.”

“You really don’t want to go?”

“No. I can’t.”

“Well, you’re not crazy.” He turned to rest his arms on the rail beside me like we were two old cronies at the pier watching the fishing boats come in. After a long moment, he said, “I committed a terrible violence against the Adders. I had access and opportunity that others didn’t, and I wanted a future for the dens but couldn’t see one that had them in it. Figured if I was going, I should at least leave the town safer than I found it. At least for a while.”

“I understand.”

“It wasn’t . . . easy.”

“I know.” And I thought I did. Now.

“Do you? Really? Can you love a man who’s done something like that?”

“What? Oh . . .” This rush of truth had its own momentum. “Pretty sure I already do.”

His head went up, like he’d spotted something startling in the distance. “Well, that’s it, then.”

“I know.” Unbearable, really. Losing both Rubio and Daniel in the same day, and just when I felt I’d sort of found him. “At least Hannah will be happy.”

“Not exactly.”

His hands gripped the railing. His stillness confused me. I guessed he was sorry, too. Best just to wait him out.

Finally, he bent his head to gaze at me past the curve of his shoulder. “Now, don’t call me wishy-washy and without convictions. I mean, I’d have gone if you wanted, if you’d have gone with me. But the truth is, I don’t want to go. Never did. Just seemed like the best option left. But I like yours a lot better.”

“What are you saying?”

“I’m saying let’s you and me see what happens together.”

“You mean . . . you’ll stay? Here with us?”

“With you. If you’ll have me.”