My father believed a civilized life awaited in Montana, if not exactly a return to normal. But now inland was the frontier, and thanks to Rubio, I had little faith in the happy homesteader ideal. “That was with an abundance of natural resources, clean water, and healthy land, never mind a settled climate.” I shook my head. “We’d survive if we’re lucky, but for how long?”

“It’s not like we’d be at it with our bare hands,” Daniel said. “We’ve prepared for this. Hannah has. We have . . . resources.”

“But would we have neighbors? Friends? A community?” I swept an arm out over the hall. “Would we have . . . backup?”

It must have been late afternoon. The low, angled sunlight seemed the bravest thing in the world, straining to push through the grime on the skylight. How was it the decision came to me so clearly now?

“Daniel, you are . . . have been . . .” I lost all the right words. “I can’t go with you.”

“Why not?” Like he’d expected that answer but was determined to press on anyway.

But saying no, finally landing on one side of the dilemma, cleared my muddled thinking. Or most of it. “Because it wouldn’t work, not with Hannah on my case all the time, and Julian calling me den rat. We’d be in the wilderness hating each other.”

“Probably not the wilderness . . .”

“Wherever! I wouldn’t fit.”

“You fit with me. That’s what matters.”

“How can you say that? Most of the time, we end up in some stupid argument.”

“And each time, we come back for more. We’re learning each other’s limits.”

He was getting quieter, in that deliberate way of his, while my heat was rising. “I mean, how have you put up with it all this time, working so hard to keep me in orbit while I carried Hannah’s papers around like a good little messenger bunny!”

“That’s Hannah’s version, not mine. Leave her out of this.”

“How can I? You didn’t choose me, she did!”

He looked appalled. “That’s how she laid it out? Believe me, your first encounter with her was pure chance.”

“But then she got you to keep an eye on me.”

“Could’ve done that without you ever knowing.” His voice dropped as he reached to run his knuckles down the length of my cheek. “But you kept showing up. Causing me trouble. Snagging my interest.”

No, no. Don’t try to woo me now. I backed away. “Can you really see it? Me tagging along, a last-minute add-on to a family as tight as you Nathans?”

“Actually, Julie’s a total convert. He’d love to have you along.”

“I’d be a burden before you got there, wherever it is. I don’t want to be some guy’s useless appendage, like that poor redhead Julian drags around!”

His hand fell away. “You’d never be . . . !”