I can sense he’s overwhelmed; time for me to rein it in with the perfect combination of self-confidence and ego boost. “We’ve had a lot of success with all of our packages. But in your case, I’d recommend the basic package. I don’t think you’re going to be needing too much help from us.”

“Really?” he says, looking up at me hopefully.

“Absolutely,” I say, not even really lying. From the corner of my eye, I can see the barista looking at him wistfully. I’m either gonna have this guy married off by the end of the year or surrounded by a harem—all depending on where he currently stands on the spectrum of relationship-seeking adult male. Though, usually, if they’re coming to us, they tend to be after something a little more serious. “And, if you happen to need any add-ons, we can take it from there.” I’ll bring up Aisha’s wunderskills at our next meeting.

Jude nods. “Okay.”

“For today, I’m going to show you a couple of places in your profiles that you can spruce up. Just so you can see how we operate and know that we’re not changing anything about who you are.”

“Sounds good,” Jude says.

“Great.” I navigate over to his Chemistrie profile. “Okay, like here. Under ‘Likes,’ it says: ‘A pint.’ Which is good, honest. But what do you like about drinking?”

Jude stares at me as if I might have three heads. “Er, mostly getting drunk, mate.”

I smile. “Of course. But aside from that . . . is there a particular drink that you like? A particular bar?”

“Oh,” he says. “Well, actually, I’m on this weird little quest. It’s stupid, really.” He takes another sip of his water, holding on to his mug like a security blanket, as if revealing his nerdy, though I’m sure absolutely charming, quest is just oh-so-slightly embarrassing. This guy. He is 100 percent the lead in a rom-com.

“No, no. Please tell me. Quests are good. Quests show character,” I egg him on.

“Well . . . I’m trying to find a gluten-free, low-calorie craft beer that tastes like the regular kind. I’ve been going all over the city, trying everything they have on tap.” Yup, what did I say? “Not a ton of luck so far. But Brooklyn seems promising.” It would.

“This is good,” I say. “We can work with this.”

“Really?” he asks.

“Definitely. And, I mean, wouldn’t you want a companion to go on this self-designated pub crawl with?”

“That’d be bloody fantastic,” he says with a chuckle.

“Well, that’s why I’m here. So, let’s do this. Do you mind logging in to your account?” I turn the laptop to face Jude and let him put in his password. Then I bring it over so he can see as I type.