Back Further Foolishness
Chapters (25)
  1. FURTHER FOOLISHNESS
  2. *
  3. Contents
  4. Preface
  5. FOLLIES IN FICTION
  6. I - Stories Shorter Still
  7. II - Snoopopaths; or, Fifty Stories in One
  8. III - Foreign Fiction in Imported Instalments
  9. MOVIES AND MOTORS, MEN AND WOMEN
  10. IV - Madeline of the Movies: A Photoplay Done Back into Words
  11. V - The Call of the Carburettor, or, Mr. Blinks and His Friends
  12. VI - The Two Sexes in Fives or Sixes a Dinner-Party Study
  13. VII - The Grass Bachelor's Guide with Sincere Apologies to the Ladies' Periodicals
  14. VIII - Every Man and His Friends Mr. Crunch's Portrait Gallery
  15. IX - More than Twice-Told Tales; or, Every Man His Own Hero
  16. X - A Study in Still Life—My Tailor
  17. PEACE, WAR, AND POLITICS
  18. XI - Germany from Within Out
  19. XII - Abdul Aziz Has His
  20. XIII - In Merry Mexico
  21. XIV - Over the Grape Juice; or, the Peacemakers
  22. XV - The White House from Without In
  23. TIMID THOUGHTS ON TIMELY TOPICS
  24. XVI - Are the Rich Happy?
  25. XVII - Humour as I See It

We passed across the open plaza, and went down a narrow side road, bordered here and there with adobe houses, and so out into the open country. Here the hills rose again and the road that we followed wound sharply round a turn into a deep gorge, bordered with rocks and sage brush. We had no sooner turned the curve of the road than we came upon a scene of great activity. Men in Mexican costume were running to and fro apparently arranging a sort of barricade at the side of the road. Others seemed to be climbing the rocks on the further side of the gorge, as if seeking points of advantage. I noticed that all were armed with rifles and machetes and presented a formidable appearance. Of Villa himself I could see nothing. But there was a grim reality about the glittering knives, the rifles and the maxim guns that I saw concealed in the sage brush beside the road.

"What is it?" I asked of a man who was standing idle, watching the scene from the same side of the road as ourselves.

"Attack of American cavalry," he said nonchalantly.

"Here!" I gasped.

"Yep, in about ten minutes: soon as they are ready."

"Where's Villa?"

"It's him they're attacking. They chase him here, see! This is an ambush. Villa rounds on them right here, and they fight to a finish!"

"Great heavens!" I exclaimed. "How do you know that?"

"Know it? Why because I seen it. Ain't they been trying it out for three days? Why, I'd be in it myself only I'm off work. Got a sore toe yesterday—horse stepped on it."

All this was, of course, quite unintelligible to me.

"But it's right here where they're going to fight?" I asked.

"Sure," said the American, as he moved carelessly aside, "as soon as the boss gets it all ready."

I noticed for the first time a heavy-looking man in an American tweed suit and a white plug hat, moving to and fro and calling out directions with an air of authority.

"Here!" he shouted, "what in h—l are you doing with that machine gun? You've got it clean out of focus. Here, Jose, come in closer—that's right. Steady there now, and don't forget, at the second whistle you and Pete are dead. Here, you, Pete, how in thunder do you think you can die there? You're all out of the picture and hidden by that there sage brush. That's no place to die. And, boys, remember one thing, now, die slow. Ed"—he turned and called apparently to some one invisible behind the rocks—"when them two boys is killed, turn her round on them, slew her round good and get them centre focus. Now then, are you all set? Ready?"

At this moment the speaker turned and saw Raymon and myself.