Chapters (25)
- FURTHER FOOLISHNESS
- *
- Contents
- Preface
- FOLLIES IN FICTION
- I - Stories Shorter Still
- II - Snoopopaths; or, Fifty Stories in One
- III - Foreign Fiction in Imported Instalments
- MOVIES AND MOTORS, MEN AND WOMEN
- IV - Madeline of the Movies: A Photoplay Done Back into Words
- V - The Call of the Carburettor, or, Mr. Blinks and His Friends
- VI - The Two Sexes in Fives or Sixes a Dinner-Party Study
- VII - The Grass Bachelor's Guide with Sincere Apologies to the Ladies' Periodicals
- VIII - Every Man and His Friends Mr. Crunch's Portrait Gallery
- IX - More than Twice-Told Tales; or, Every Man His Own Hero
- X - A Study in Still Life—My Tailor
- PEACE, WAR, AND POLITICS
- XI - Germany from Within Out
- XII - Abdul Aziz Has His
- XIII - In Merry Mexico
- XIV - Over the Grape Juice; or, the Peacemakers
- XV - The White House from Without In
- TIMID THOUGHTS ON TIMELY TOPICS
- XVI - Are the Rich Happy?
- XVII - Humour as I See It
The sound of slippered feet was distinctly heard on the stones in the outer corridor.
Abdul listened intently a moment.
"I know his slippers," he said.
"Who is it?"
"It is my chief secretary, Toomuch Koffi. Yes, here he comes."
As the Sultan spoke, the doors swung open and there entered an aged Turk, in a flowing gown and coloured turban, with a melancholy yellow face, and a long white beard that swept to his girdle.
"Who do you say he is?" I whispered to Abdul.
"My chief secretary," he whispered back. "Toomuch Koffi."
"He looks like it," I murmured.
Meantime, Toomuch Koffi had advanced across the broad flagstones of the hall where we were sitting. With hands lifted he salaamed four times—east, west, north, and south.
"What does that mean?" I whispered.
"It means," said the Sultan, with visible agitation, "that he has a communication of the greatest importance and urgency, which will not brook a moment's delay."
"Well, then, why doesn't he get a move on?" I whispered.
"Hush," said Abdul.
Toomuch Koffi now straightened himself from his last salaam and spoke.
"Allah is great!" he said.
"And Mohammed is his prophet," rejoined the Sultan.
"Allah protect you! And make your face shine," said Toomuch.
"Allah lengthen your beard," said the Sultan, and he added aside to me in English, which Toomuch Koffi evidently did not understand, "I'm all eagerness to know what it is—it's something big, for sure." The little man was quite quivering with excitement as he spoke. "Do you know what I think it is? I think it must be the American Intervention. The United States is going to intervene. Eh? What? Don't you think so?"
"Then hurry him up," I urged.
"I can't," said Abdul. "It is impossible in Turkey to do business like that. He must have some coffee first and then he must pray and then there must be an interchange of presents."
I groaned, for I was getting as impatient as Abdul himself.
"Do you not do public business like that in Canada?" the Sultan continued.
"We used to. But we have got over it," I said.
Meanwhile a slippered attendant had entered and placed a cushion for the secretary, and in front of it a little Persian stool on which he put a quaint cup filled with coffee black as ink.
A similar cup was placed before the Sultan.
"Drink!" said Abdul.
"Not first, until the lips of the Commander of the Faithful—"
"He means 'after you,'" I said. "Hurry up, Abdul."
Abdul took a sip.
"Allah is good," he said.
"And all things are of Allah," rejoined Toomuch.
Abdul unpinned a glittering jewel from his robe and threw it to the feet of Toomuch.
"Take this poor bauble," he said.
Toomuch Koffi in return took from his wrist a solid bangle of beaten gold.
"Accept this mean gift from your humble servant," he said.