Chapters (25)
- FURTHER FOOLISHNESS
- *
- Contents
- Preface
- FOLLIES IN FICTION
- I - Stories Shorter Still
- II - Snoopopaths; or, Fifty Stories in One
- III - Foreign Fiction in Imported Instalments
- MOVIES AND MOTORS, MEN AND WOMEN
- IV - Madeline of the Movies: A Photoplay Done Back into Words
- V - The Call of the Carburettor, or, Mr. Blinks and His Friends
- VI - The Two Sexes in Fives or Sixes a Dinner-Party Study
- VII - The Grass Bachelor's Guide with Sincere Apologies to the Ladies' Periodicals
- VIII - Every Man and His Friends Mr. Crunch's Portrait Gallery
- IX - More than Twice-Told Tales; or, Every Man His Own Hero
- X - A Study in Still Life—My Tailor
- PEACE, WAR, AND POLITICS
- XI - Germany from Within Out
- XII - Abdul Aziz Has His
- XIII - In Merry Mexico
- XIV - Over the Grape Juice; or, the Peacemakers
- XV - The White House from Without In
- TIMID THOUGHTS ON TIMELY TOPICS
- XVI - Are the Rich Happy?
- XVII - Humour as I See It
Pshaw, I missed the others, but never mind; flick, flick, it's beginning—What's this? A bedroom, eh? Looks like a girl's bedroom—pretty poor sort of place. I wish the picture would keep still a minute—in Robinson Crusoe it all stayed still and one could sit and look at it, the blue sea and the green palm trees and the black footprints in the yellow sand—but this blamed thing keeps rippling and flickering all the time—Ha! there's the girl herself—come into her bedroom. My! I hope she doesn't start to undress in it—that would be fearfully uncomfortable with all these people here. No, she's not undressing—she's gone and opened the cupboard. What's that she's doing—taking out a milk jug and a glass—empty, eh? I guess it must be, because she seemed to hold it upside down. Now she's picked up a sugar bowl—empty, too, eh?—and a cake tin, and that's empty—What on earth does she take them all out for if they're empty? Why can't she speak? I think—hullo—who's this coming in? Pretty hard-looking sort of woman—what's she got in her hand?—some sort of paper, I guess—she looks like a landlady, I shouldn't wonder if—
Flick, flick! Say! Look there on the screen:
"YOU OWE ME THREE WEEKS' RENT."
Oh, I catch on! that's what the landlady says, eh? Say! That's a mighty smart way to indicate it isn't it? I was on to that in a minute—flick, flick—hullo, the landlady's vanished—what's the girl doing now—say, she's praying! Look at her face! Doesn't she look religious, eh?
Flick, flick!
Oh, look, they've put her face, all by itself, on the screen. My! what a big face she's got when you see it like that.
She's in her room again—she's taking off her jacket—by Gee! She is going to bed! Here, stop the machine; it doesn't seem—Flick, flick!
Well, look at that! She's in bed, all in one flick, and fast asleep! Something must have broken in the machine and missed out a chunk. There! she's asleep all right—looks as if she was dreaming. Now it's sort of fading. I wonder how they make it do that? I guess they turn the wick of the lamp down low: that was the way in Robinson Crusoe—Flick, flick!
Hullo! where on earth is this—farmhouse, I guess—must be away upstate somewhere—who on earth are these people? Old man—white whiskers—old lady at a spinning-wheel—see it go, eh? Just like real! And a young man—that must be John Holdfast—and a girl with her hand in his. Why! Say! it's the girl, the same girl, Madeline—only what's she doing away off here at this farm—how did she get clean back from the bedroom to this farm? Flick, flick! what's this?